


Twice Bitten Half Turned

by missbellaswan



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbellaswan/pseuds/missbellaswan
Summary: Bella returns home from Phoenix with a scar where she was bitten and a walking boot, but her injuries heal and the scar doesn't. Instead, the cold translucent scar begins to spread and they realize that Bella still has venom in her system. Bella slowly begins to change, but no one is sure what she is becoming.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 44
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

After everything that happened with James, things finally seemed to be going back to normal. It was summer, and now that we were out of school Edward and I were spending most of our time in the meadow.

All my injuries from the fight in Phoenix were healed. Carlisle had given me a clean bill of health, and I was starting to feel like my old clumsy self again. Charlie was surprised at how fast I had healed, but Carlisle told us that it wasn’t totally unheard of. I was young and healthy, and apparently that makes it a lot easier to recover from things like concussions and fractures and vampire bites. Although Charlie remained unaware that a vampire bite is something I would ever need to recover from.

This was my first summer in Forks, and it wasn’t anything like the Phoenix summers I was used to. The sun was dimmer here. The trees still cast large shadows, the clouds were present even on the sunny days, and the rain never stayed away for as long as I hoped it would. But it was summer nonetheless.

And as much as I missed the dry Arizona sun, I had to admit that summer in the meadow was beautiful. It wasn’t the same as the blistering heat I longed for, but it was warm here. The grass soaked up the sun and warmed my back as I laid there, and the bright yellow and white spattering of wildflowers broke up the dim green expanse of the forest.

I was laying in the grass drifting in and out of sleep while Edward sat next to me tracing patterns up and down my arm with his cool fingers. It was late afternoon and I could feel the sun on my eyelids as it appeared from behind the clouds that were drifting across the sky.

Edward stiffened beside me and his hands froze against my skin. I opened my eyes and squinted at him through the suddenly bright sunlight.

“Edward?” I shifted up on my elbow to look at him. He didn’t move or speak, but I had spent enough time with him to know that his vampire senses were reacting to something.

“Your arm.” He said. He kept a hold of my hand and started turning it back and forth, watching it intently. I sat up to inspect it with him.

“Edward what’s going on?” I asked. He continued to move my arm gently, but with an urgency that made me nervous.

“Can you see it?” He murmured, his voice was barely perceptible.

I instinctively looked down at the fresh scar from James’ bite, but I didn’t see it at first. I lifted my hand and held it closer to me, angling it in the sun to see where the teeth had sunk into me.

“My scar is disappearing.” I was nearly whispering now too. Ever since James bit me, the mark it left was paler than my skin. It usually glimmered as if it were translucent, but now I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Hmm?” Edward looked up to meet my eyes.

“My scar is disappearing.” I repeated. 

“No, Bella, look,” he said. He laid my forearm against his and shifted them to catch the rays of sun that were spilling across the meadow. His arm glittered and I was distracted by it for a moment, until I saw what he was seeing. My arm was shimmering too.

It didn’t look exactly the same as his, but it seemed like the sun was hitting it from different angles now, leaving a faint shine underneath my pale skin. I blinked and pulled my arm away from his. Maybe it was just the reflection of his diamond skin. But as I continued to watch it, the glimmer was now unmistakable under the skin of my forearm.

“Its shining.” I said.

“Bella, your scar isn’t disappearing. Your whole arm is—” He stopped. He was clearly comparing it to his own. He had never been fond of this aspect of his anatomy. In fact, it was something he detested about himself.

“What’s happening to me?” I stood up. My whole body suddenly felt jittery and my mind was spinning. I knew this meant something, but in my panic I couldn’t form the thoughts.

“I don’t understand.” Edward was still sitting in the grass watching my arm as it reflected the sunlight. Usually his senses were much sharper than mine, but he seemed to be stuck.

“We should talk to Carlisle.” I said. He would know what to do. 

Edward nodded. He stood up slowly and offered me his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me onto his back and then we were running.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again we were standing at the door to Carlisle’s study.

As I was unwrapping myself from Edward’s stone figure, I noticed he was already talking. I could hardly make out the words, but it was clear he was trying to tell Carlisle what was going on.

Carlisle opened the door and stood aside to allow us in. He was looking at Edward, obviously replying to whatever Edward had told him about me. After he and Edward were finished, he looked down at me with his kind smile.

“Isabella, how are you feeling today?” Carlisle said.

I was confused by his question. It was the same question he asked me at the start of every appointment we’d had since the accident. The last few minutes had shaken me up so much, and I thought he would be a little more concerned than he appeared.

“I’m—" I took a breath, “I feel fine.” Which was true, I wasn’t in any pain.

“That’s good.” Carlisle shot a look at his son. “It seems Edward has some concerns about your bite mark.” He motioned down to my arm, and I held it out for him to examine.

“My arm. It was glittering.” I said. “In the sun. Like yours does.” He looked me over in silence for a few moments, and my thoughts finally started to catch up with me. “Well, not exactly like that. It’s a lot less noticeable, I didn’t even see it at first, but Edward—” I looked over at him, “he noticed it. In the sun.” I realized I was talking myself in circles and took a deep breath. Edward could see the effort in my inhale and squeezed my hand.

“It does seem to have taken on some of the qualities of our kind’s skin.” Carlisle said. He had worked his way up to my shoulder now, poking it lightly with his cold hands. “We will have to run some more test of course, to know the extent of things.”

“What does that mean? I’m not one of you, I can’t be.” I said.

“No,” Carlisle’s assurance wasn’t as forceful as I would have liked. It was more of a musing, like he was turning over lots of different theories in his head all at once.

“Then what?” Edward said.

“Well, I’m not entirely sure.” Carlisle paused to think for a moment, “your scar did have some of these properties initially after you were bitten. Perhaps it is—”

“Spreading?” Edward said, finishing Carlisle’s thought for him. It was just loud enough for me to hear through the frantic thoughts swirling in my brain.

And then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

_I couldn’t see anything in the darkness, but I could smell the blood. Rust and salt. The scent had always been sickening to me, but something was different about it now. Edward was calling my name somewhere in blackness. I tried to follow the sound, but I found myself tracking the scent of the blood instead. The smell wasn’t repulsive to me anymore, it was sweet. I couldn’t find Edward, but maybe that’s because I wasn’t looking for him anymore. I followed the smell, wandering through the dark and inhaling the scent. I couldn’t track it exactly, it was swirling all around me and saturating the air with a thick sweet smell. Edward’s voice faded as the smell took over._

The next time I heard Edward’s voice was different. Much more tangible, like if I could wake up he would be right there.

“Bella, love, open your eyes.” He said. So I did, and there he was. He was sitting next to me holding my hand. I saw Carlisle seated at his desk behind Edward. “Bella.” Edward said again when he saw my eyes open. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Are you okay?”

I nodded and realized I was laying down on the exam table that Carlisle had set up for my other appointments earlier in the summer. Obviously I had blacked out, which was stupid and embarrassing, but I felt fine now. They were both watching me now as tried to sit up. Edward eyed me carefully at first, but helped me up.

I was surprised to see that they both looked much more relaxed than before. They had clearly been talking things through while I was unconscious, and they seemed calmer. Or at least had enough composure now to mask their concern in front of me. 

“Well clearly your body is still functioning very much like a human’s,” Carlisle finally said. He stood up from his desk and walked over to the exam table. He started taking my blood pressure while I continued to gather my thoughts.

“I guess so.” I said when I found my voice again.

“Your vitals are within expected limits, and as far as I can tell you are not exhibiting any of the normal signs of a transition. But I wonder now if your recovery from your injuries from Phoenix was aided by more than just your youth.” Carlisle said. Edward was still seated next to me, watching me intently.

“I want to run a few more tests,” Carlisle continued, “to determine the extent of the changes to your physiology, if that’s okay with you.” He took the cuff off my arm and put it away.

“Yeah,” I said. I wanted to ask him a million questions, but I couldn’t think of anything. I wasn’t even sure what questions I wanted to know the answers to, and I was even less sure that Carlisle would have those answers. “Can we do all that tomorrow? I want to go home.”

I hopped down off the exam table and Edward stood and slid an arm around my waist. I wanted to be annoyed by his overbearing behavior, but my vision was slightly blurred by the effort of standing. Edward held me steady until I regained my balance. I pulled away slightly, to assure Edward I was still capable of standing.

I hoped my horrible display of equilibrium wouldn’t convince Carlisle to keep me here any longer. I needed to go home and get dinner ready before Charlie got there. I needed to eat, and shower, and sleep, and be human.

“I don’t see why not.” Carlisle said. He clearly knew me well enough to know my clumsy dismount was a result of my incredibly uncoordinated human body, not an indication of vampirism. Or whatever this was.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I said as I headed for the door. As soon as I was given permission, I was suddenly overcome with my desire to get back to my house where I could be human again.

“In the meantime, I will see what I can find out about your condition,” Carlisle said. He was already sitting behind his desk again flipping through a book.

“Thank you.” I told him as Edward followed me out and closed the door behind us. Edward pulled me to his side again as we walked down the stairs and out to the garage to find his car. I didn’t see any of his other family members as we made our way through the house, and I was relieved to not have to try to explain this to anyone.

“Does Alice have a jacket I can borrow?” I asked as Edward opened the Volvo door for me.

“Are you cold?”

“A little,” I lied. I just needed something to cover my arm. The windows of the car were tinted and I knew even Edward didn’t sparkle through the windshield, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to hide it. Edward disappeared for a moment while I climbed into the passenger seat, and when I looked up again he was sitting next to me holding one of Alice’s least terrifying jackets. I put it on as he turned on the car and spun out of the garage and down the long driveway.

The drive was quiet, but Edward held my hand tightly the whole way home. When we pulled up to the house, Edward simply kissed my forehead and opened the door for me.

“I’ll see you tonight.” I phrased it like a statement because he spent nearly every night in my room now, but after today I wasn’t entirely sure.

“I’ll be there.” He assured me, sensing the uncertainty in my tone. I climbed out of the car and watched him drive off.

As I walked up the drive, I realized Charlie’s car wasn’t there. I unlocked the door and switched on the lights as I went. I looked at the clock in the living room as I headed for the stairs. It was only four. This afternoon had felt much longer than it really was.

I wondered why Edward hadn’t come in with me since Charlie wouldn’t be home for at least a couple hours, but I was thankful for the time alone. Maybe he knew 

I ate a snack, cleaned my room, and started a load of laundry, reveling in the simple humanity of my chores. There were still leftovers in the fridge from last night, so instead of cooking I decided to take a shower before Charlie got back from work.

I had hoped the shower would wash off some of the stress from this afternoon. Instead I found myself examining my arm again. I held it out in front of me and compared it to my other arm. Without the sunlight shining directly on it, the difference was even less noticeable. Was it paler or was it just the dim bathroom lighting? But the more I stared, the more differences I started to see. This arm was slightly firmer than the other, the shape of my bicep was more toned. I wondered if it would be stronger now. I hadn’t noticed a difference, but I was afraid to test it.

If this had started in my hand, and now reached up all the way up my arm, when would it stop? Would it stop before my heart did?

I shut off the water and went back to my room, avoiding the mirror and the frantic questions bubbling up in my head.

A few minutes after my shower, I heard Charlie come in and call my name.

“Up here!” I called back down. I threw my wet hair up in a bun, pulled a long sweater over my arms, and went down to warm up dinner.

Spending the night with Charlie felt as human as anything I’d ever done. We sat in silence and ate our leftovers, and then I stayed downstairs and watched a game with him. I couldn’t have even identified the sport, but Charlie seemed pleased with the company.

I waited until the end of the game and even through the announcer’s final comments, but eventually Charlie picked up the remote and flipped the TV off. He seemed surprised to find me still sitting opposite him on the couch, awake.

“I have to be in to the station early tomorrow morning, so I’m gonna hit the hay.” Charlie said. He wandered through the first floor turning out the lights and checking the doors. I stood as he finished and followed him up the stairs. “G’night, Bells.”

“Night, Dad.” I said as we both headed into our rooms.

Once my door was firmly shut, I turned around to find Edward sitting on my bed. He stood up and pulled me into a silent embrace once I had closed the door and we wrapped ourselves in the familiar privacy of my bedroom, despite the knowledge that Charlie was just in the other room.

“Bella.” He didn’t seem to have anything more to say, so I pulled him onto my bed with me and we laid there for a while.

After a while, I got up and gave myself a few more human minutes as I brushed my teeth and changed into pajamas. Edward waited patiently, his stillness not as unsettling as it used to be. When I was done, I crawled back into bed and we watched the sun set through the window. Edward just played with my hair and waited for me to break the silence, when I was ready.

“Hi.” I said after the light faded from the window and I relaxed in the safety of the darkness.

“Hi.” He replied. I could see a faint crooked smile on his lips in the dim light from my bedside lamp.

“Something funny?” I said.

“I’m just appreciating your humanness.” He said.

I tried to return the smile, but it didn’t come out quite right and he could tell. He quirked his eye, indicating that he wanted to know what I was thinking.

“I’m not sure I feel all that human right now.” I admitted.

“Bella, you are human. Trust me, I would know if that had changed.” He pulled me tight against him and took a deep breath as he pressed his head against mine, inhaling my scent. I stayed still for the moment, but then I sat up and held my arms out to him.

“Hasn’t it?” I didn’t realize tears had welled up until they started to spill over. Edward wiped the tears from my face and smiled again, a comforting grin that I could tell he was putting on just for my benefit.

“Bella, you’re crying. You know we can’t cry. And you may not be able to hear it, but I can assure you, your heart is still beating.” He held a hand to my chest and I breathed slowly. He was right, I was still definitely alive. But for how long?

“Did you and Carlisle have any luck with the research?” I asked.

“Not as much as we had hoped.” He admitted. 

“Well what do we know?” I said. The more I thought about it the less sure I was of anything.

“Carlisle thinks that when James bit you, and when I tried to remove the venom, some of it remained in your system.” Edward sighed. “He doesn’t think that it is enough to fully change you, but what little is left does seem to be spreading and altering your human biology to be more like ours.” Edward seemed to be relaying all of this to me in exactly the same way Carlisle had told him, like he hadn’t really processed it for himself yet.

“Is there anything we can do?” I asked. I knew that there wasn’t much hope of getting all the answers I wanted to tonight, but I needed to find something to hold on to.

“I don’t know. But Bella,” Edward held my gaze intently, “I will stop this. We will figure it out and I will keep you safe, you have nothing to worry about. You are not going to become one of us. I promise.”

The words were meant to be a comfort, but they stung. I didn’t want to be turning like this, but I had already made my choice. I had made my decision at prom and I wasn’t going to change it. But I thought I would decide when it happened, or at the very least I thought I would know when it was happening.

And if Carlisle was right and this doesn’t fully turn me, then what would I become? And while Edward was promising to protect me from this, he was also reminding me that he didn’t want this for me, that he never intended to let me be a part of his family. I laid back down in bed and Edward wrapped me in a blanket and held me as silent tears fell on my pillow.

After all my worrying my body suddenly felt very tired. I liked the feeling. The heaviness, the weight, a way to forget all the things that I had been confronted with today. It was a nice reminder of being human, so I let myself drift off to sleep in Edward’s arms.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up, Edward was gone. I found a note on my desk in his delicate cursive. _I’ve gone to help Carlisle with the research, see you soon. I love you._

I didn’t mind that he was gone, I knew that he and Carlisle were doing their best to help me, but now I was unsure of what I was going to do with myself for the day. I didn’t want to get in their way or be a distraction, and I definitely didn’t want to sit around and listen to them talk about all their theories for what could possibly be happening to me.

Charlie had already left for work by the time I made my way downstairs for breakfast. I made myself a cup of tea and pushed my cereal around in the bowl until it was soggy. I got ready slowly, opting to wear a long sleeve shirt, even though judging by the sun streaming through my window it was going to be warm again today. I sighed as I eyed my small, and now almost entirely obsolete, wardrobe I had brought from Arizona.

Since it was summer and there was no school for me to distract myself with, I ran out of things to do sooner than I had hoped. I didn’t want to stay home and mope all day, so I grabbed my keys and started the truck before deciding where I was going.

Once I was on the road, I found myself heading out of town. I didn’t really want to wander around in the gloomy woods by myself today, so I turned off the main highway and headed toward the coast. A few miles later I hit the reservation and headed towards the Black’s house.

I wasn’t sure how welcome I would be there. Jacob and I hadn’t spoken much since his dad forced him to crash my prom. I wasn’t upset because I knew Billy was just trying to protect me. And I knew Jacob didn’t mean any harm, but my association with the vampires made our friendship a lot more complicated that I had anticipated. And now things were only going to become even more complicated than before.

I pulled up the dirt lane that lead to their small red house. I saw Jacob on the porch before I had even parked the truck. The engine of the truck must have given me away as soon as I hit the reservation.

“Bella!” Jake called as he jogged up the driveway to meet me.

“Hey Jake.” I said as I climbed out.

“What brings you to the res?”

Oh, nothing. I’m just avoiding the fact that I’m turning into some weird half vampire hybrid. “Just wanted to see you. Thought maybe we could do something now that I’m out of the boot.” I lifted my foot up to show off my newly freed lower leg. I wobbled a little as I tried to balance on one leg.

Jake laughed and tried to grab my arm to steady me. I pulled away instinctively, trying to keep my newly vampire-like appendage away from anyone it might hurt, but the movement caused me to tip backwards. I landed firmly on my ass and Jake busted up laughing again as he leaned down and pulled me back to my feet. I dusted myself off and frowned at him.

“Oh yeah, back at the top of your game I see.” He joked.

“You know it,” I said. I felt dumb for recoiling from him, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or didn’t seem to mind. He led me over to the garage around the other side of the house.

“Did you have something in mind for today?” Jake asked.

“Well what were you going to do before I crashed in on your plans?” I asked. I hadn’t spent any time here since I was a kid, so I really had no idea what I was doing here.

“I’ve been spending most of my time this summer putting the finishing touches on the Rabbit, but I know you’re not big on cars, so we could do something else,” he said, “we could go to the beach—”

“No.” I interrupted. I didn’t want any more contact with the sun than necessary. “Don’t change your plans for me. Let’s get this car finished.” He pushed the doors of the garage open and led me inside. I picked up a wrench and started waving around, threatening to start fiddling with things.

“Okay, but only if you put down the tools until you know how to use them.” He laughed and held his hand out for the wrench. I handed it over and found myself smiling wildly. His laugh seemed to have that affect on me.

“I don’t know anything about cars.” I admitted as I sat down on one of the rickety stools in the shop. Jake was already grabbing the tools he needed and heading over to open the hood of the car.

“That’s okay, I know lots.” He winked at me and bent over the engine. We sat in comfortable silence for a few while, and I found myself more relaxed than I had felt since the revelation in the meadow yesterday. I felt human here. I sat and listened to Jake hum to himself and bang around under the car for a while.

“Bella?” Jake called.

“Yeah?” I wandered over and found a seat next to where his feet were sticking out from underneath the car.

“Can I ask you something?” He slid out from under the car and looked up at me with big brown eyes.

“Yeah, sure.” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I had no reason to suspect Jake was going to start asking questions I couldn’t answer.

“What happened in Phoenix?”

“Oh.”

“It’s just that I’ve only really heard from what Charlie told Billy, and while they can gossip with the best of them, they’re not the most reliable of sources.”

“There’s just not much to tell.” I said. Jake seemed to sense that he should drop it, and I knew he would it I asked, but I found myself wanting to tell this very human lie. “I fell out a window. You know how clumsy I can be.”

“Yeah, I know that, but why did you go?” Jake paused. “Don’t you like it here?”

I wasn’t prepared for that question. “No, I do. I was just missing my mom, and the sun,” I winced, “and I think I just went a little crazy. But I do like it here.” I assured him.

“Good, I like that you’re here,” he said shyly.

“Thanks.”

He went back to inspecting the car. He seemed happy enough with that response, and I was glad that that was all he was looking for.

“I have all the parts I need now. I got the master cylinder, thanks to you, so I just have to put it all together and I should be able to get this thing driving again.”

“That’s awesome, Jake.” I said. I had gone back to sitting and he was about to roll himself back under the car, but he stopped and looked up at me.

“Thanks, again, by the way.” He said. “For letting me crash your prom. My dad means well, he just takes all those stories really seriously. About the Cullens and all that.”

“I know, it’s okay. He’s just trying to look out for me.” I said. I tried to sound casual so I wouldn’t give away how my new skin was crawling as we discussed Billy and his hatred of the Cullen’s particular brand of supernatural, which I may or may not be a part of now.

“Yeah.” Jake seemed to sense I was done talking about that too and slid back under the car.

He tinkered around for the rest of the morning. Occasionally he would ask me to hand him a tool or hold something while he worked on it. I spent most of the time sitting on a stool by the car fumbling through different static filled stations on an old radio I found on the work bench. Every once and a while I would get the signal of a song that Jake knew and he would make me turn it up loud so he could sing along.

The sun was high in the sky when Jake appeared from beneath the car and wiped his hands off on an old rag.

“I need to get some food, do you want to come inside and have lunch?” He asked.

“I think I should probably head back home actually,” I said. As much as I was enjoying my new safe haven away from vampire drama, I had a feeling eating lunch with Billy wouldn’t be the relaxing escape I was looking for. And I couldn’t avoid my new condition forever, as much as I wanted to.

The decision to return to reality and head home reminded me of my promise to Carlisle I had made the day before to meet with him today.

“Shit,” I said under my breath as we headed back towards my car.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just remembered I was supposed to do something today.”

“Well I guess you really better get home then.”

“Yeah, I should,” I said, “thanks for hanging with me today.”

“You’re welcome here anytime Bella, so you should come back soon. Or when this is done, I can come to you.”

“Yeah, definitely. I want to see this thing run.” He opened my truck door for me and gave me one last bright smile. I hopped in my truck and waved as I pulled back down the drive.

He waved back and then I saw Billy appear in the doorway and call him inside. I waved at Billy, but he just turned and went back inside.

I drove a few miles over the speed limit on the way back. I decided to head straight to the Cullen’s house. I felt guilty for forgetting about my meeting with Carlisle that I agreed to yesterday, but I found myself enjoying the humanness of my forgetful brain. I hummed a song that Jacob had got stuck in my head and squinted down the dim highway trying to find the turn off to the Cullen’s drive.

Once I found the turn, the drive was easy. The dirt road was always damp enough that it stayed smoothly packed down, and with the partial reprieve from the rain that the summer granted us, it wasn’t muddy and my truck had no trouble.

Edward was standing on the porch when I pulled up to the house. Just like Jacob, he could hear me coming from miles away. He opened the door of my truck and pulled me into his arms once I had parked and turned off the rumbling engine.

“Where have you been?” Edward asked as he pressed a kiss into my hair.

“I went to the reservation to see Jacob.” I said, looking up at him. His eyes were darkening slightly and he seemed tired, if that was a thing that a vampire could be.

“Oh, I went by the house and you weren’t there. I was worried.” He said.

“I just needed a break from everything.” He took my still human hand and led me inside. I looked around, but if anyone else was home they were giving us the appearance of privacy.

“I understand, but I wish you would have told me where you were going.” Edward said. I wanted to be annoyed by his demands, but with everything that had happened since yesterday I understood the anxiety he must be feeling.

“I’m sorry, but I needed some space to process all this.” I held my hands up, indicating to both my own arm and the vampiric nature of our surroundings. He just smiled and nodded.

“Did it help?” He asked. I could tell he was still bothered by my disappearance, but I appreciated that he was listening to me.

“Yeah, it did. Did you and Carlisle find anything that might help?” I asked.

“We’re not entirely sure yet. Carlisle is in his study waiting for us, why don’t we go discuss this with him.” He said.

We walked up the stairs hand in hand and made our way to the doorway of Carlisle’s study just like we had yesterday.

“Hello, Isabella.” Carlisle greeted me.

“Hi, I hope you weren’t expecting me earlier, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” I sat down in one of the high backed chairs and Edward stood beside me with a hand on my shoulder.

“No, of course not,” Carlisle said, “I lose track of time quite often myself.”

“Have you and Edward learned anything about my… condition?” I asked.

“Not as much as I had hoped. We have been unable to find any reliable accounts of anyone else attempted what Edward tried to do in Phoenix. Rosalie and Emmett are leaving in a few days to spend the year travelling, and I have asked them to reach out to a few of my old friends. I hope that they will be able to provide some insight. For now, would you allow me to run a few tests of my own to see if we can determine the extent of the spread?” Carlisle stood up from behind his desk and indicated that he wanted me to join him by the exam table.

“What kinds of tests?” I stood up and walked over to the table, Edward followed closely behind me.

“Just some basic diagnostics to determine to what extent your biology remains human, and what has been altered.” He started turning on machines and laying out instruments on the table beside me. “Nothing too invasive, I assure you.”

“We just want to try to understand this,” Edward said. He helped Carlisle finish setting up and then sat next to me on the table.

I nodded and sat still as Carlisle began his exam. He mostly just examined my arm. He took my temperature in various places, checked my reflexes, my heart rate, blood pressure, he ran as many tests as he could think of all while making idle small talk with Edward and I. When he had done as much as he could, he looked up at Edward and Edward nodded in return.

“Bella, would you be okay with giving a blood sample?” Edward asked. Carlisle had clearly run it by him first, silently, and he had agreed to ask me.

“Sure.” I said. I held out my arm again and Carlisle prepped the needle. When he was ready he inserted the needle into my arm near the crook of my elbow. My skin seemed to resist the needle at first, but it gave way and Carlisle was able to draw a few vials.

“Your skin is clearly still vulnerable, though not as fragile as most human skin.” Carlisle said. “Most of the differences I have recorded would not be noticeable if one were not looking for them with a trained eye, but I must admit there are several definitive differences.

“Such as?” I asked. Edward already knew everything that Carlisle knew, but I was still out of the loop.

“The pale translucent appearance and your reaction to sunlight are the most noticeable, but the temperature of your arm seems to be dropping slightly and your reflexes and strength in the arm have been slightly improved by the venom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you started seeing these differences continue to spread. I do not, however, think the venom is strong enough to fully stop your heart and complete the transition.”

“What do we do?” I asked. No one had been able to give me much of a straight answer to this question so far.

“We keep an eye on the progress and try to find out anything else we can. My examination leads me to believe that you are not in any danger and unless this transition becomes painful, I am of the opinion that the best solution is to let this take its course and deal with the outcome as best we can.”

“Thank you, Carlisle.” I said. It may not be the answer I wanted, but Carlisle seemed confident in his assessment and I trusted him enough that the feeling that I might just die at any moment eased.

“Of course, Bella.” Carlisle said. “You are our family now, and we will do whatever is necessary to protect you.” He cleaned up the exam table and put away all his instruments. Edward helped me down from the table and held me tight to his side.

“Let’s go to my room.” Edward whispered in my ear. I knew Carlisle could hear him, but he pretended not to notice and continued to go about his tidying. I nodded and let him lead me out of the study and down the hall to his room. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes before we made it all the way down the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

“Is your family avoiding me?” I asked Edward. He was sitting cross legged on a blanket outside my house with my head in his lap. He was playing with my hair and humming softly as I was rereading Wuthering Heights. He stopped humming and laughed. He leaned over so his face was directly above mine.

“What makes you think that?” He asked, still laughing.

“I haven’t seen anyone since before we found out about this.” I lifted my arm and pouted slightly. I was worried that with all these changes they wouldn’t want me to be a part of their family with the way I was now. Maybe they saw me as a threat. I was an unknown, even more than when I had first met Edward, what if they thought I was jeopardizing the safety of their family? What if I was?

"They are just giving you some space while we figure things out,” Edward promised, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “besides, you saw Carlisle two days ago.”

“I know, but are they okay with everything?” Everything being me and my new half vampire form.

“Bella, you don’t have to worry about them.” He assured me.

“But I haven’t even seen Alice,” I sighed, “are you sure they’re not upset with me?”

“Upset?” He raised an eyebrow, I felt a little silly for worrying about this, but I missed them. “They’re not upset with you Bella, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He paused. “I asked them to keep their distance while you worked through everything. I thought you wanted space from vampire stuff.”

“Oh. I guess I did say that didn’t I?” I conceded. “Well I’m removing my vampire ban, when can I see them?” I asked. Edward smiled at me and opened his mouth to respond, but his cellphone started ringing before he could. He pulled it out and answered.

“Hi, Alice. No, I haven’t told her. No, she didn’t. Yes. Alice, please.” Edward sighed and held the phone out to me. He looked annoyed, but I was impatient to talk to Alice so I ignored him and took the phone.

“Alice?” I said.

"Bella!” Alice’s voice was even higher than usual, she was excited about something.

“What’s going on?”

“Well I just saw that you were coming to the party tonight and I’m so happy. It’s a little short notice, but you know me, I have everything covered. I need you to come over here as soon as you can so we can get you ready—”

“Alice, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh.” She huffed. I saw Edward roll his eyes. “Well in that case, since Edward clearly failed to extend the invitation, we are having a going away party tonight for Rose and Emmett and we would love it if you could come.” Alice paused, clearly waiting for me to accept the invitation.

“I’m not really in the mood for a party, Alice. Promise me nothing too crazy.”

“Nothing too crazy. Promise. Please come!” Alice pleaded.

“Okay.” I sighed, “I’ll be there.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you soon!”

I handed the phone back to Edward and stood up. Edward smiled, but pulled me back down onto the blanket with him.

“We still have some time.” He reminded me. Kissing me lightly along my jawline, pulling me in closer.

Finally he reached my mouth and I wrapped my hands into his hair, pulling him in. My heart thudded in my ears and I had to remind myself to draw in a breath. He held me there, kissing me and restraining me at the same time. After a moment he laughed lightly, pressing several more soft kisses to my cheeks before pulling out of my reach.

“You were saying?” I said, following him and he leaned away from me. He just smiled in return, keeping me at a distance.

“Sorry, I’m just not sure you would have survived much more of that,” he joked.

“Very funny.” I said. I stood up again and he was already standing beside me with the blanket folded in his arms. Then something occurred to me.

“Edward?” I asked as we walked inside the house.

“Yes, my love?”

“What would happen to me if I died? Now that I’m like this.” I hadn’t even considered that specific aspect of my new physiology. Can I still die the same way a human would? Am I going to continue to age?

“I asked Carlisle the same thing.” Edward said, sighing. “We don’t know. He doesn’t think there is enough venom to fully change you, so it is unlikely you would be immortal, but we don’t really know anything more than that.” He watched me as I put my book and the blanket away, distracting myself with the inane tasks.

I nodded. I didn’t really know what to do with this information. I grabbed my shoes and keys and walked back outside.

Edward followed me out and we both got in my truck. He hated it when we took my car, but he didn’t complain. We drove in silence and Edward rubbed my shoulder absentmindedly. My head was spinning again with all new sets of questions about whatever I was now. Edward seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts too.

I knew what it felt like to die. I didn’t remember much of what happened at the ballet studio, but I remember the feeling of letting go, of starting to float away. I had never thought much about my own mortality until I had been confronted with it so directly. But now, it was impossible to even know if I was mortal or not. I hated the not knowing.

My anxious thoughts made me even more aware of the venom crawling through my body. Since we had first noticed it the venom had spread through my entire arm and shoulder, and was now making its way up my neck and down through my torso. It hadn’t reached my heart yet, but it would soon and I was nervous to find out what would happen when it did. It felt like it was wrapping around me like tendrils, threatening to squeeze the life out of me with no warning. Edward and Carlisle assured me that there was not enough venom in my system to kill me or change me, but it also wasn’t showing any signs of stopping.

I pulled onto the Cullen’s long driveway and Edward seemed to relax. I couldn’t tell if he was worrying about me or if he was just annoyed with my driving. Something told me it was probably a bit of both.

Alice was already waiting for us on the porch when I pulled up to the Cullen’s house. I hopped out of the truck and I felt cold arms around me before my feet even hit the ground.

“Bella!” Alice spun me in a tight circle and set me back down on the ground. I blinked a few times, regaining my balance and smiled at her.

“Hi, Alice.” We both turned to glare at Edward, making it clear we were annoyed at him trying to keep us apart.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Edward said raising his hands in surrender.

“Damn right you’re sorry.” Alice told him. She grabbed my hand and started to drag me inside. I knew this was my last chance to see Edward for a while so I turned and he gave me a quick kiss before I was dragged away for whatever nonsense Alice had planned for me.

Alice was already talking a mile a minute before we made it to her room. Sometimes she talked so fast I couldn’t even understand what she was saying. I just smiled and nodded and assured her that I had missed her too.

“Rosalie will be on her best behavior I promise. I sent her and Jasper to run a few errands before tonight,” Alice was saying as she sat me down in front of the monstrous vanity in her room.

“Is Rosalie still upset with me?” I was hoping Alice wouldn’t try to spare my feelings like Edward did. I hadn’t seen Rosalie hardly at all since Phoenix and started to feel like I was crashing her party.

“Rosalie is very protective.” Alice said. “She doesn’t like not knowing things, and there’s lots about you, and your new hybrid status, that we just don’t know anything about. She feels threatened.”

“Hybrid?”

“Do you have a better word for it?” Alice was buzzing around me pulling tubes and curlers and brushes out of the drawers. “You’re half vampire, half human.”

“Hybrid.” Edward and I hadn’t been calling it anything, so I didn’t have a word for it until now. But giving it a name made it a little less scary. “I like that.” I told her.

Alice just smiled and turned back to her work. Her work being me. She spent the next hour doing my makeup and playing with my hair until she was satisfied.

Just as she was putting the final bobby pins into my hair, I saw a flash of blonde hair in the doorway.

“Everything is set up outside.” Rosalie told Alice. I could see them both in the mirror behind me inspecting my hair. I saw Alice’s eyes glass over for just a moment and she nodded in approval.

Alice turned to Rosalie after she was satisfied with me and looked her over. “Do you need any help getting ready?” Alice asked. Rosalie smiled at her. I realized I had never seen her truly smile in front of me before. It was even more beautiful that I could have imagined. I could still see myself sitting in front of her in the mirror, a grim comparison, so I turned the chair to face the two of them.

“Emmett wants to braid my hair, but you could help me do my makeup if you want.” Rosalie sat down in the chair next to me and started sorting through Alice’s collection. I had never seen this side of her before, she seemed oddly human. She was softer than I was used to.

Even with the kinder façade, she still hadn’t acknowledged me since she had walked in. I stood up and walked over to Alice’s bed and sat down. I was relieved that Alice seemed to be giving me a break for now. They let me sit and watch and the two of them chatted while they did one another’s makeup. Rosalie was telling Alice about their travel plans for the year when Esme walked in.

“Bella!” She smiled widely at me and rushed over to give me a warm hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Hi, Esme.” I said. She wandered back over to the other girls at a more human pace, and I jumped off the bed to join the them.

“Everything is ready.” Esme told Alice.

“Well everyone had better get dressed then.” Alice jumped up and opened her closet. She shooed Rosalie and Esme out the door, insisting they wear the outfits that she had left in their rooms for them.

“Is this a formal event?” I knew better than to ask, but I was afraid of what Alice had in store for me.

“No, but everyone should always look their best.” Alice returned from inside her closet with a swathe of pale blue fabric in her arms. She unfurled it in front of me to reveal a light flowing long sleeved dress. “Trust me, I’ve already seen you in it.” She turned back to her closet to get her clothes.

I undressed and started sliding into my new dress. From behind me I heard Alice take in a sharp breath and turned to see her staring at my bare arm. She walked back over to me and inspected it for a moment. It didn’t feel like judgement, she seemed genuinely curious. 

After a minute she looked up and me and smiled, warm and comforting. Then she pulled the sleeve of my dress up and did all of the buttons up in a flash before returning to her closet to get dressed herself.

When she returned she was wearing a short sleeved floral dress that wrapped around her tiny body and flowed down to her ankles. She nodded approvingly at my dress and turned me around to face the mirrors again.

My hair was pinned half up with soft curls flowing down my back, complimenting the light fabric of the dress that stopped just above my knees. Rosalie and Esme returned in their approved outfits as Alice handed me a pair of strappy brown sandals. Rosalie wore a white dress that had turned her into even more of a Greek goddess, if that were possible. Her hair was braided up into a crown around her head. Esme wore a lavender sundress and a wide brimmed sun hat. She radiated so much warmth for someone I knew would be cold to the touch.

“Perfect.” Alice approved of everyone and started to herd us out the door and down the stairs. I took a deep breath and tugged at the sleeves of my dress. Alice and Rosalie were out the door first and Esme caught my arm as I went to follow, holding me back.

“You have nothing to worry about.” She said. It was matter of fact, she wasn’t trying to console me, she was just telling me something she truly believed.

“I’ve never been to a vampire party before.” I joked lightly. She smiled and me and held my hand as she led me out the door to follow the others. 

“Alice loves an excuse to get us all dressed up. That’s all it is.” We walked down the stairs and met Alice and Edward in the living room.

“Edward is being obstinate.” Alice complained to me. We met them at the bottom of the stairs and Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

“I merely said that I wouldn’t move an inch from this room until Bella was with me again.” Edward said looking me over with his golden eyes.

“Bella,” Alice whined again.

“Come on,” I told the both of them, grabbing each of their hands. Esme followed behind us and we made our way outside, where I could hear the others talking.

“Hey Bella!” Emmett yelled as we made our way to the backyard. Alice had decked out the yard with string lights and lanterns and flowers everywhere, to complement Esme’s already extensive garden.

I waved at Emmett and we all walked down and joined the rest of the group. Jasper and Carlisle were talking animatedly about some war that I had never heard of, but Rose and Emmett turned away from the conversation as soon as we arrived. They seemed happy for an excuse to leave that particular conversation. Alice bounced over to Jasper’s side and Esme joined their group as well, wrapping an arm around her husband’s waist.

Emmett and Rose stood facing us, and with Alice and Esme’s exit, we were now an unlikely group of four. But Emmett didn’t seem bothered and he scooped me up in a hug, lifting me into the air before setting me back down.

“I heard you’re not so fragile anymore, part vamp now huh?” Emmett teased, mockingly punching me in the shoulder. He barely even touched me, but I flinched instinctively. Emmett laughed, but Edward glared at him.

“It’s okay,” I told Edward before turning to Emmett, “I think I’m still considered fragile in this demographic.” I motioned to the hoard of vampires around me and Emmett laughed.

Esme turned around from their conversation to look back at me. “There’s food for you if you’re hungry, dear.” She said, pointing over to a small table of food and a pitcher of lemonade set out for me.

“Thanks.” I said. She smiled and turned back to Carlisle.

Edward led me over to the food table, it held enough food for everyone at the party, despite the fact that I would be the only one eating any of it.

“I’m not sure Alice and Esme know how much a human eats.” Edward said. He had gotten more used to the idea of food after spending time with me, but it was clear the rest of the Cullen’s were still a little clueless. We both laughed and I poured myself a glass of lemonade. “You look absolutely stunning.” He told me, looking me over again with his bright eyes.

“Thanks.” I looked him over and noticed that all the boys were wearing similar outfits. Light tan linen pants with soft toned button ups. Edward had his sleeves rolled up and the top button undone. He looked gorgeous, as always. I held a hand up to the collar of his shirt to indicate the loose button. “You look nearly indecent.” I teased. I heard Emmett swivel towards us and immediately regretted the conversation, so close to prying ears.

But Edward shot Emmett a look that kept his mouth shut. He was still grinning over at us widely though, so I just sipped my lemonade and watched as the others mingled and chatted. They all laughed loudly and freely. They looked so different here than I was used to seeing them, in public and under the guise of humanity. They looked brighter, warmer, almost alive.

"Are you okay?” Edward asked. He was nearly whispering, but I knew the others could still hear us.

“Yeah.” I said, smiling so he would know I was telling the truth. I didn’t want to elaborate in such a public place, but I had been so caught up in worrying about what was going to happen to me now that I was a hybrid, that I forgot that this was what I wanted. To be a vampire, to be a part of this family. I found myself more upset that I wasn’t fully a vampire yet, than upset about not being fully human anymore.

We spent the afternoon talking and laughing. I complimented Esme’s garden and she showed me around, pointing out all of her flowers and trees she had planted. Jasper and Emmett started up a casual game of catch, tossing a baseball straight up into the air as high as they could.

The afternoon was cloudy, but warm. The sun only peaked through the clouds once. But when it did several sets of golden eyes turned to me, eager to see the change for themselves. We were all standing in loose circles talking. Carlisle and Esme were still caught up their own conversation, but the others had all fallen silent, staring at the new hybrid in their midst. The rays of sunshine caught the skin on my neck in the same way it danced on theirs. Time seemed to slow down as I watched their diamond bright faces watching me. Edward was staring at me too, trying to gauge my reaction. I nodded at him, making sure he knew I was okay. The sun passed back behind the clouds and the moment passed. Everyone turned back to their conversations and it was forgotten as quickly as it had happened.

When the sun started to set I decided it was time for me to go. I needed to make dinner and I hadn’t seen much of Charlie recently, which I think we both felt guilty about. I said goodbye to everyone, and wished Rose and Emmett safe travels. Emmett hugged me again and ruffled my hair. Rosalie thanked me in return and waved politely as Edward walked me back to my car.

He started to walk around to the passenger side, but I stopped him.

“Stay.” I said.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Stay with your family.” I insisted. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He kissed me and looked me over once more before heading back to the party and leaving me half dazed next to my truck.

I drove home smiling. There was still lots to worry about and I could still feel the venom pulsing in my veins, but I felt a little lighter.


	5. Chapter 5

Rosalie and Emmett left for Europe the next morning. Edward told me that Carlisle had put them in contact with a few of his old friends from when he was living there and had hoped that they would be able to provide some insight into my transition. But after two weeks of not hearing from them I was starting to get anxious again.

“Nothing is wrong. They’ve only been gone a couple weeks.” Edward told me, again.

“Promise me you’re not just saying that to protect me.” I said.

“I promise. The last time Rose and Emmett went on a honeymoon we didn’t hear from them for six months.” He sighed at the memory. “And trying to stay under the radar of the Volturi is not as easy as you might think.”

“What would they do if they found out about me?”

“We don’t know,” Edward said, “Carlisle thinks he can convince Aro to leave us alone. Technically you are being turned, so we are not in violation of the secrecy laws anymore. But if you are as rare as we think you are,” he trailed off. 

He stood up from the couch where we were sitting and walked over to the biggest window in his room. I followed him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He held his hands against his temples and growled something too low for me to hear.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“Alice’s thoughts are very loud.” He sighed.

“Why don’t we go somewhere?”

“Where would you like to go?” He turned to look at me.

“The meadow?” We hadn’t been back since the incident. I had been avoiding it, and Edward hadn’t pushed me. I guess he knew I would tell him when I was ready. And I guess I just did.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yes. I want to go back before the flowers are finished blooming.” I said. He just nodded and smiled in return, holding his hand out to me.

I took it and he pulled me up onto his back. He jumped straight through the open window on the other side of the room and took off running as soon as we hit the ground. I buried my face in his shoulder and took deep breaths like I usually did. But the normally terrifying speed that Edward ran at didn’t seem to bother me as much as it used to. I slowly lifted my head and squinted into the wind. Everything looked like a blur of green and brown, like it always had, but the motion didn’t feel as disorienting anymore. Edward slowed to a stop as we approached the clearing and pulled me down off his back. I stumbled as my feet hit the ground again, but I didn’t feel dizzy or nauseous like before.

I stood still at the edge of the clearing, considering whether I was just getting used to Edward’s speed or whether this was a new ability of mine. Edward turned around and held a hand out to me. He mistook my pause for concern about returning to the meadow. And once I truly realized where we were, I was a little nervous. I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand.

He led me into the clearing and the last of the trees fell away revealing the familiar circular meadow. We walked slowly over to the spot where we usually sat and Edward pulled me to the ground. We sat quietly for a moment, both of us taking in the beauty of this place we had missed the last several weeks. It was cloudier today and we were nearing the end of the wildflower bloom. Only a few flowers remained around the edges of the meadow.

Edward picked a daisy from the ground next to us and tucked it behind my ear. I smiled at him and pulled him closer to me. He leaned his head down on my shoulder and closed his eyes taking in a deep breath and falling still. I ran a hand through his bronze hair and we both started to relax.

“As much as I wish I could read your mind, the silence is nice sometimes.” Edward murmured.

“Is Alice bothering you that much?”

“She keeps having visions of you.”

“What about me?” I asked, although I was sure I knew.

“She keeps seeing you as a newborn. Red eyes. No heartbeat.” He sighed. Edward was still against me ever becoming a vampire, but I was surprised by his honestly on the subject. “I don’t want that for you.” He whispered.

“Well I do.” I said. That’s probably why Alice kept seeing it happen.

“I know.”

“When?”

“She doesn’t know exactly,” he said,” but soon.”

I couldn’t help but smiling. I was ready. Ever since the party, I was growing impatient with my slow march to immortality. Edward opened his eyes and looked up at me.

“I wish you wouldn’t look so happy about it,” he said.

“I’m ready, Edward.” I said, “besides, I’m already halfway there.”

“Bella.” He sat up straighter to get a better look at me. “You don’t know what you’re giving up.”

“It’s already been taken from me.” I said. James took it from me. “I’m already changing, it’s too late. I can’t go back to my human life, I’m not human anymore.” Tears were welling up in my eyes. I knew all of this already, but I hadn’t considered it in such blunt terms before. I wasn’t human anymore. Even if I wanted to change my mind, that choice was taken from me. Edward wiped the tears from my eyes and stared into them.

“I know.” His bright golden eyes were angry now. “I’m so sorry I took that from you.”

Of course he blamed himself.

“You saved me. You have nothing to apologize for.” I reminded him.

“No. I didn’t.” He said. “You may not have died in that studio, but I failed.”

“Edward,”

“Did you know that the venom has already reached your heart?” He hissed. I shook my head. “It happened a few nights ago while you were sleeping.” He took in a sharp breath and looked down at the ground. “When the venom reaches the heart it stops. In vampires, that is when the transition is fully complete. Bella, you’re heart stopped.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.

“It faltered, stopped, and then started beating again.” He was whispering now too. “It’s slower now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said again.

“I was still hoping that the amount of venom was small enough that it wouldn’t have any more effects.”

“But it has.”

“Your heart rate and blood pressure have dropped, your temperature has fallen a few degrees, your eyes.” He stopped, looking back up at me again.

“What?” They were brown, just like they always had been.

“They’re flecked with red. They still appear brown, especially to a human, but they’ve changed.” Edward looked like he would cry if he could.

I just stared at him. Carlisle had told me that things would change more dramatically if the venom reached my heart. I just assumed I would have noticed, or maybe I had noticed and I just didn’t want to admit any of it to myself.

“Your running doesn’t bother me anymore.” I said. My voice was empty, I couldn’t think straight, but some of the pieces started falling into place. “I’ve been wearing long sleeves because of the sunlight, but I still can’t seem to get warm anymore. The dark circles under my eyes won’t go away. Why am I still changing if it’s reached my heart?”

“The venom is now circulating through your system, but it hasn’t been fully absorbed by all of the tissues. So there is venom flowing through your brain, but it will take a while for the effects to become fully apparent.” He said.

I just nodded. Edward pulled me against his chest and I let the tears fall.

“I’m so sorry, Bella.”

We sat like that for a long time.

I wanted to sleep, I was so tired. I was tired of not knowing what I was becoming or when it was going to stop. Some days I wanted to be more human, most days I wanted to be more vampire. Whatever this was, whatever I was, I didn’t want it.

Edward was the first one to move, which was unlike him. He stood and held his hand out to me, pulling me up with him.

“Where are we going?” I had cried myself out a while ago, and my voice was harsh and low.

“Nowhere. I just want to try something,” he looked at me for a moment and then amended, “if that’s okay with you.”

“What do you want to do?”

“You said my running doesn’t bother you anymore?”

“No, everything still looks blurry, but I can keep my eyes open.”

“Want to do some sight-seeing?” He winked at me and offered me his hand again.

“I thought we weren’t going anywhere?” I took his hand and let him pull me up onto his back. He waited until I was wrapped around his stone frame and then started running. I kept my eyes open and watched green trees flash by for a few moments. Then suddenly we were heading in a different direction, up. Edward was scaling a large pine tree leaping up the branches until we were at the very top and couldn’t get any higher.

Edward helped me onto a branch big enough to bear my weight and smiled at me, running a hand through his wind-blown hair. I looked out past the branches of our tree, and the few surrounding trees that were tall enough for me to see. Beyond the branches of the pine was a huge green expanse, the whole forest was swaying in unison in the wind. Even further I could see the ocean, grey with caps of white, it was mostly obscured by the mist rolling in towards the beaches. From up here I could smell the salt mixing with mud and moss of the forest.

“What do you see?” Edward said as he sat down beside me on the branch.

“Everything.” I breathed. I knew my senses were still nothing compared to his, but up here I felt like I could see more than I ever had before. I didn’t know how much of that could be attributed to my newly developing senses, but for now I didn’t really care.

Edward stood up after a moment and started to climb through the branches, dancing around me on the limbs. I started to follow his path, ducking under and climbing over branches until I caught up to him. He picked me up and jumped to the next tree nearest to us.

We wandered around in the top of the canopy until the wind picked up and Edward brought me back down to the ground. He jumped from the branches as soon as a small patch of dirt was visible through the branches and ran us back to the meadow.

“I do want to share my world with you.” Edward said as I wandered back through the meadow to our spot in the grass. “I just can’t bear the thought of taking away what life you have left. That would be beyond selfish.”

“James stole my human life from me. But I’m ready to start living my next life, with you.”

“I can’t, Bella, I’m sorry.”

“I can’t stay like this forever.”

“I know.” He sighed. “Give me a little more time. Wait until Rosalie and Emmett get back, just until we’re sure there are no other options.”

“They’re not coming back until after graduation. You want me to live like this for a year?”

“Please.” He said.

I nodded. I wasn’t done with this argument, but I could see that I wasn’t going to get any further today.

“Charlie should be home soon.” Edward reminded me.

“Yeah, I should get back. Will you drop me off at home?”

Edward ran me back to the house and dropped me off at the edge of the forest. He gave me a kiss and told me I would see him again in a few short hours before running off. I could see Charlie’s cruiser in the driveway when I wandered out of the trees a minute later. I walked inside and headed for my room.

“Dad?” I yelled as I walked up the stairs.

“Yeah, Bells?” He called from his own room.

“You want dinner?” I asked. He poked his head around the door as I reached the top of the stairs and nodded.

“I could eat.” He said. “Oh and Angela Weber called a while ago, wanted you to call her back.”

“Thanks.” I said, dropping my things and heading back down to the kitchen to start dinner.

I pulled the phone off the hook and dialed Angela’s number.

“Hello?” she said after a few rings.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“Not a lot,” she said, “it’s summer.”

She seemed bored, which made sense since there was nothing to do in this town, but it contrasted starkly with my experience of the last few weeks.

“Yeah.” I said.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out later this week,” she said after a moment.

“Yeah, that would be fun.” I said. I liked Angela, and I hadn’t seen her since school got out.

“Cool. Do you want to come over to my place tomorrow?” She asked.

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Okay! See you tomorrow.” She said and hung up.

I was nervous to see Angela, but it was unavoidable so I might as well get it over with. She was the most perceptive of my human friends and I was worried that if anybody would notice something was off about me, it would be her.

Edward was confident that humans would not be able to see the differences, and if Charlie was anything to go off, they wouldn’t. I tried to remind myself that even I hadn’t noticed the change in my eye color, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I might be putting everything in jeopardy.


	6. Chapter 6

Edward and I spent the next morning together at my house. Charlie left for work early like he usually did, so we had the place to ourselves until I had to leave for Angela’s.

I was still working through everything that had happened the day before, so I made myself a cup of tea and sat down at the table. Edward was sitting across from me, watching me swirl the tea bag around in the mug.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He asked. He had watched me sit and eat breakfast at this table a lot over the last few weeks, so he noticed when I arrived at the table mostly empty handed.

“Not really,” I shrugged and sipped my tea. I wrapped my hands around the mug and let the heat seep into my cool skin.

“Are you sure? I could make you something,” he offered.

“Really?” I had never really seen him try to cook anything before.

“Yeah, what would you like?”

“Eggs?” I asked. I didn’t really feel like eating, but I couldn’t picture him actually cooking in my kitchen, and I was curious.

“Whatever you want.” Was all he replied. He stood up and rummaged through the fridge before pulling out the carton of eggs. I watched intently as he pulled out a pan and turned on the stove.

“Since when do you cook?” I asked as he cracked a couple of eggs and whisked them into the pan.

“Esme has always liked to cook, she taught me how.” He seemed very relaxed. I could almost picture him as a human when he had a whisk in his hand. His god-like supernatural beauty contrasting against our fading yellow cabinets gave him away though.

“What do you do with the food?”

“Donate it if we can, or sometimes Carlisle will take it to work with him.” Edward smiled.

When the eggs were done he slid them from the pan onto a plate and set them down in front of me.

“Thank you.” I said, picking up the fork and digging in. Now that there was food in front of me, I found that I actually was quite hungry and I ate it all.

Edward seemed pleased, and he hummed quietly to himself as he did the dishes.

“Why do you think I can still eat?” I asked as I drank the last of my tea. “And why don’t I crave blood the way you do? You said my eyes were red now.”

“I think the part of you that is still human is satiating the vampire part. You still have blood in your system, and that blood keeps you satisfied in a way that the rest of us will never be.” Edward said. He took my empty plate and mug and turned back to the sink.

“Huh.” It was comforting that the vampire half that I ended up with wasn’t the blood thirsty half.

“That’s why your eyes are red. All newborns have red eyes because their bodies still have some human tissue left that feeds them and keeps them strong.”

“Well at least we don’t have to worry about all that. Yet. Still nothing from Rose and Emmett?” I said, changing the subject. I knew the answer to my question already, but I had to ask. Edward finished the dishes and joined me back at the table.

“No,” he said, “be patient, love.”

I just nodded. I didn’t want to be patient anymore, but as with everything, I didn’t seem to have a choice.

I went upstairs to take some human, or hybrid, minutes before I left for Angela’s. Edward waited in my room like he usually did, and I went to the bathroom. As I was brushing my teeth I pressed my face closer and closer to the mirror, trying to see any flecks of red. With my nose pressed up against the glass I could see a few veins of deep red splintering through my irises, but as soon as I blinked they melted back into the brown. 

When I was ready I went back to my room to get dressed. Edward was laying on my bed with my CD player laying on his chest. His eyes were closed and I could hear the music playing faintly through the headphones. He opened his eyes when I walked in and smiled at me. I smiled back and went to my closet to find some clothes. He made a point of closing his eyes again as I was changing, only reopening them when I was laying on the bed next to him. He pulled me in and pressed pause on the CD player.

“I love you.” He said. We didn’t say it often, it seemed silly and trivial to have to repeat something so obvious, but my heart stuttered at the words.

“I love you too.” I said. He sat up and set the CD player back on my desk where I had left it.

“What are you and Angela doing today?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Just hanging out I guess.” I said. There must have been something about my tone of voice because Edward cocked an eyebrow at me, prodding me to tell him whatever I wasn’t saying. “I’m just worried that she will notice something is off about me.”

“She won’t notice anything, Bella.” He assured me. “I know it might feel like you’ve gone through a lot the last several weeks, but to the human eye you look just the same as you always have. Trust me.”

I wanted to trust him. I did trust him. But the fear was still there, in the back of my mind. I felt like a completely different person now, so how could all of this just go by totally unnoticed by everyone else? It seemed impossible. I reminded myself of Charlie again, who had seen me every day after Phoenix and hadn’t mentioned it once.

“I should go.” I said.

"See you soon.” He asked as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Soon.” I promised.

He walked me to the car and kissed me again quickly before disappearing into the woods. I hopped in the truck and drove over to Angela’s street. I parked on the curb outside her house and took a deep breath.

Angela’s father answered the door. He greeted me and invited me in, calling Angela down from her room.

“Hi Bella!” Angela said as she hit the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey,” I said. Her dad went back to the living room and Angela towed me upstairs to her room. So far neither of them had looked at me twice.

Angela wasn’t much for small talk, but apparently she hadn’t had many people to talk to lately so she babbled to me about everything that had happened in the last several weeks. The longer we sat and talked, the more relaxed I felt.

“And then Jess gave Ben my number, so we’ve been texting like every day, but he still hasn’t asked me out so I don’t know.” Angela said. She looked up at me, indicating that I was supposed to react to her story.

“Huh,” I didn’t really have any advice for her.

“Yeah, and Jess went to see her family and won’t be back until next week.” Angela said.

"Oh,” I said, “I’m sure Ben is just nervous.”

“Maybe, but I don’t know how to tell him that I want him to ask me out without telling him that I like him.”

"I don’t know how to do that either, Ang, sorry.” I said. She just nodded and continued to vent about her non relationship. It was nice to listen to her talk about her problems. They were not nearly as life and death as mine were.

“How’s Edward?” She asked when she had talked herself in circles enough times to convince herself that she was working through things with Ben.

"Good.” Amazing, perfect, I want him to turn me into a vampire so I can spend eternity with him. “He’s good.”

Angela just nodded. It was so much easier to spend time with her than Jessica because she never asked any questions that I didn’t know how to answer. And she always accepted whatever answer I gave her.

“Did your dad tell you about the bear we saw?” She said.

“What? No,” I said.

“Me and my dad were hiking in the woods last weekend and we saw this huge black bear. It was like twice as big as any other bear I’ve seen, and my dad reported it to your dad in case it gets too close to town.”

“No, I had no idea.” I said. Maybe the Cullens could take care of it, too bad Emmett was out of town.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in her room analyzing texts between her and Ben and comparing our schedules for the next semester. Angela’s dad tried to invite me to stay for dinner, but I told him I was having dinner with my dad and left after promising Angela we could all get together when Jessica got back to town next week.

When I pulled onto my street a few minutes later, I spotted a familiar car parked on the curb outside of my house. A rabbit. Jake was leaning against the side facing away from me, and I saw Edward standing on the lawn talking to him. I parked and ran out to join them, in case their conversation was less that polite.

“Hi Bells,” Jake said when I got out of the truck.

“Bella.” Edward said, relieved to see me again. I knew the feeling.

“Hi Jake,” I gave him a quick hug and went to stand by Edward. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to take you for a drive,” he said standing to the side and motioning to the car behind him.

“Did you drive that here?” I asked.

“Yep. It’s all fixed up,” he beamed, “thanks to you.”

“That’s so cool!” I walked over to inspect the car. Not that I knew what I was looking at, but I knew enough to be impressed.

“Thanks,” Jake smirked. “Wanna go for a ride?

“Yeah,” I said. I turned back to Edward, “are you coming?”

Edward and Jake both laughed.

“I’ll wait for you here, love.” He said.

I scowled at both of them, I could already tell getting the two of them to be friends was going to be a challenge. Jake opened the door and helped me into the car, and then ran around to his side and hopped in.

“What were you and Edward talking about?” I asked as Jake turned onto the highway. The acceleration of the car was about as good as my truck, but Jake seemed thrilled.

“Oh, nothing.” He said. He didn’t seem upset or angry, so I let it go.

I watched the tall trees streak by on either side of the road.

“I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks, what have you been up to?” Jake asked, breaking the silence.

"Not much,” I didn’t have a good explanation for spending my summer wallowing in existential dread.

“Yeah, me neither,” he said. His voice changed, he seemed sad. He had such an expressive face, it was easy to tell what he was feeling.

“Did something happen?” I asked.

“Not really. It’s just that some of the guys on the rez have been looking at me really weird the last few weeks. Quil and Embry think I’m making it up, but I don’t know.”

“Do you know what they want?”

“No idea, they won’t talk to me. In fact, they won’t talk to anyone but each other anymore.” Jake adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “We should head back, I don’t want to go too far.”

"Okay.” I said. He pulled off the highway and spun the car around, taking us back towards Forks.

Jake seemed to calm down on the ride back, and we both eased back into a more comfortable silence.

“Sorry the radio doesn’t work yet,” he said, “that’s my next project.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” I said. And I didn’t, I really liked just being around Jake. I realized this was the first time I had felt warm since my transition. The heater wasn’t on, it was just Jake. He radiated a kind of heat that warmed me up inside.

He drove me back to my place, and parked in the same spot as before. Edward was waiting for me on the lawn, like he had never left. I sighed, both in annoyance and relief.

Edward opened my door and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me into his arms. I heard Jake clear his throat behind me and I broke away, turning to face him.

"Thanks for the ride.” I said.

“Anytime, Bells.”

“I’ll come to you next,” I promised.

"Don’t wait too long,” he flashed me a smile. He slid back into the car. I smiled back and closed the passenger door. He started the car and drove off again.

Edward turned me back around again so I could see him. He stared into my eyes for a moment before leaning in and kissing me. I responded and wrapped my hands into his hair. Edward indulged me, but all too soon he pulled away.

“I haven’t seen enough of you today,” he said.

“I’ve been very popular.” I said.

“How is Angela?” He asked as we went inside.

"Good. Bored, I think.”

“Summers in this town are usually boring,” Edward sighed, “but of course you’re the exception to every rule.”

“Sorry,” I said. We settled on the couch, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“It’s not always a bad thing. You are simply extraordinary in every way.” He said, smiling his crooked grin.

“You’re one to talk.”

“My kind has certain advantages in that regard,” he joked, “speaking of my kind, Carlisle received a message from the Denalis today.”

“What about?”

“Carlisle sent Laurent to stay with them.” Edward paused to judge my reaction. I nodded to let him know I was okay. “Apparently things have been going well with the adjustment, and he’s with Irina now. Tanya thought it would be a good idea to formally introduce each other to our newest coven members.”

“Does that mean they want to meet me?” I asked. I had only heard a few things about the Denalis, but I knew enough to be intimidated by them.

“Yes, Carlisle hasn’t told them about your condition yet, he thought that would be better to discuss in person. But they know you’re my mate, and they want to welcome you to the family. Carlisle invited them to stay with us next week.”

“What if they don’t like what I am?” I couldn’t help but feel nervous. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They will love you,” he kissed my forehead, “as for the hybrid aspect of things, we just have to hope that they’re willing to listen. Perhaps they can even share some insight. Their coven is older than ours, they might have heard of this kind of thing before.”

“And Laurent?”

“I will not let anything happen to you. We would not have agreed if we didn’t think it was safe.”

"Okay.” I knew Edward would always protect me, but I hated the idea of him protecting me from people he considered his family.


	7. Chapter 7

The Denalis were supposed to arrive after dusk. Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper had gone hunting for the day so they wouldn’t need to leave while our company was in town. I was sitting in the living room of the Cullen’s house with Esme and Alice, waiting for the boys to return. They seemed perfectly at ease. Alice was braiding my hair, and Esme was sketching on a notepad.

“Are you sure they’re going to be back in time?” I asked Alice.

“They are on their way back right now. They will be here any minute.” Alice’s cold hands combed through my hair, weaving it into several intricate braids. “Emmett taught me how to do this one,” Alice said. Esme looked up to nod in approval at Alice’s work. I tried not to fidget. 

"The Denali coven have been our allies for many years.” Esme said, trying to comfort me.

“I know,” I said.

"We would never put you in any danger,” she said, “and they are a part of our family just as you are.”

“What about Laurent?” I whispered.

“Laurent is with Irina now,” Alice said.

Before I could dwell on my anxiety too much longer, Esme and Alice both raised their heads to watch the back door. The boys sped in a minute later. Edward’s eyes met mine as he crossed the room to sit down next to me. Esme stood up to greet Carlisle and Jasper followed Edward over to stand beside Alice. Alice shook my hair out of the braids so it fell in loose waves all around my face. Edward sat down and tucked my hair back behind my ears.

“Hi,” he whispered in my ear.

“Hi,” I said.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Now that he was here, I relaxed a bit. The Denalis would be here any minute, but as long as Edward was here, I could handle it.

We watched the sun set through the trees and the other Cullens found seats around the room and settled in while we waited.

“I can hear them.” Edward announced after a few minutes. The others nodded. Everyone stood up and started to make their way to the door to meet them. Edward held my hand and led me behind the others.

I saw several blurry forms streak through the clearing in front of the house. They slowed to a walk when they reached the front porch and Carlisle opened the door to let them inside.

“Carlisle!” The first blonde woman through the door wrapped Carlisle in a hug. “How are you, my friend.”

“We are well, Tanya, thank you,” Carlisle said.

The others filed in behind her, another blonde behind Tanya, then a dark haired couple, then another blonde hand in hand with Laurent. The Cullens all greeted them kindly, but no one else moved from their position in front of me. The Denalis also held their formation in front of Laurent.

“You remember Laurent,” Tanya said after a pause. I’m sure the moment seemed much longer to all of them than it did to me.

“Yes, of course.” Carlisle said. Laurent made his way to the front of the group and held a hand out to Carlisle. I could see his eyes clearly now, they were a muddled gold.

“It is nice to see you again,” Laurent said. “It is nice to see you all.” There were some scattered nods from around me, but no one had moved yet.

“You must be Bella.” The dark haired woman said, her eyes focused on me. The Cullens opened ranks slightly, and Edward pulled me forward to stand by Carlisle.

“Yes, this is Bella,” Edward said, “my mate.” He smiled at the word, then turned to me. “Bella, this is Carmen, Eleazer, Tanya, Kate, and Irina.”

“Hi,” I said. I could feel all their eyes looking me over.

“You’re right, Kate,” Edward said, addressing her thoughts, “she’s not human. Not fully at least.” The Denalis shifted backwards, trying to decide how to react.

Carlisle put a reassuring hand on my back and held his ground.

“She is a hybrid.” Edward continued. “She was bitten, but I was able to remove most of the venom. She did not fully turn, but what traces were left have changed her to be more like us in some ways.”

“I have never seen anything like this,” Eleazer said, stepping forward.

“Carlisle,” Tanya said. 

“I know, we don’t have all the answers yet either, honestly we were hoping that maybe you had come across this before.” Carlisle said.

“No, we haven’t,” Tanya said and looked at Edward for approval, then walked up to me. “Hello, Bella.”

“Hello,” I didn’t know what else to say. She looked me over, no doubt gauging the threat.

“It is very nice to meet you.” She said finally. She held out a porcelain hand to me, which I shook. Her approval seemed to relax everyone. The Cullens broke away from one another and started to greet the others.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” I said. Edward squeezed my other hand and started pulling me back towards the living room. Tanya fell in step with Carlisle and they led us back into the house.

Everyone moved into the living room again. Edward and I sat on one of the couches and Carmen and Eleazer sat down next to us. The others scattered among the other chairs and couches and started catching up.

“It is very good to see you again, Edward” Eleazer said.

“And we are so excited to get to know you, Bella” Carmen said with a smile.

“Me too, I’ve heard so much about you all from the Cullens.” I said. I was feeling much more relaxed now that I wasn’t being publicly appraised.

“So tell us, Bella, how exactly did this happen?” Eleazer asked. He motioned to my body, clearly trying to indicate all of my slightly vampiric features.

“James.” I said, glancing over at Laurent. He looked up at me, his expression blank.

“Yes, Laurent has told us of him.” Carmen said.

“He and his mate hunted Bella,” Edward said. His teeth were clenched tightly and he had a hand protectively on my back. “He was the one who bit her. I was able to get to her before it spread, so she has retained mostly human physiology with a few notable exceptions.

“The eyes are quite remarkable aren’t they,” Eleazer said.

When I looked around I realized the rest of the room had grown quiet and were watching us. All of them were nodding in agreement with Eleazer’s observation. I could hardly see the difference in my eye color, but clearly it was more noticeable to vampires that I thought.

I ducked my head down instinctively, hoping to shake off the attention.

“Bella,” came a voice from the other side of the room. I looked up to see Laurent was still staring at me. “I would like to apologize for our unfortunate first meeting. James was,” he sighed, “an unfortunate, but necessary alliance at the time. I hope you won’t hold it against me.”

“No,” I said. I wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about Laurent. His eye color and his new companions made me want to forgive him, but the image of him in the field with James and Victoria was burned in my mind. Three pairs of violently red eyes staring, hungry.

“We understand,” Edward said, he seemed focused on Laurent’s thoughts now, “but you think Victoria is still a threat?”

“Victoria?” I asked.

“Laurent seems to think that she hasn’t given up like we thought. What makes you think that?” Edward said.

"Victoria was loyal to James in a way that I never was. They loved each other, and Victoria won’t forgive his death.” Laurent’s words sent a chill down my spine. Maybe it was foolish of me to have thought that killing James would put an end to it. Wild wisps of bright red hair danced in my mind. James may have been the one to come after me, but there was something about Victoria that had always unsettled me the most.

“She’s going to come for us?” I said, my voice was weak.

“It’s likely. I haven’t seen her since we parted ways, but her scent lingers here. She hasn’t left, and she certainly hasn’t given up.”

“She’s been here?” Edward pressed.

“Not in Washington, that I’m aware of, but I have caught her scent further north.” Laurent confirmed.

“You didn’t tell us that, Laurent,” Tanya said.

“I didn’t know what to make of it at the time, and if she hasn’t been seen near town, I’m not sure what is to be done about it. She has a talent for staying just out of reach,” Laurent said. His voice was calm and sincere, but I still couldn’t bring myself to fully trust him.

“Well thank you for bringing it to our attention,” Carlisle said, “we will keep our guard up.”

“We would be happy to help you deal with her, if the need arises,” Kate said.

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary, but thank you.” Esme said.

“I haven’t seen her,” Alice murmured. Her eyes were glazed over as she sifted through possible futures, looking for Victoria.

“She is quite skilled at evasion, even with your gifts, she will be difficult to track.” Laurent said.

The Cullens all nodded solemnly. The others started to fall back into their other conversations. The last few minutes had felt like a lifetime and having so many vampires in one room was becoming oddly unsettling. I stood up and Edward stood with me.

I led him to the back door and we walked outside. I took a deep breath when we reached the back porch.

“Are you okay?” Edward said after a moment.

“I don’t know.” I replied.

“She’s not going to hurt you.”

“She might,” I said, “and if she doesn’t she could hurt Charlie. Or Jake or Angela. Or one of you could get hurt trying to stop her.”

“Bella, listen to me.” Edward pulled my face up to look at him. “We will find her, and I will kill her.”

I nodded in response. Edward hugged me and pressed a kiss into my hair.

“I won’t let anything happen,” he vowed.

We stayed there for a while listening to the wind rustling through the trees. I trusted Edward. I felt safe when I was with him and I knew that he would protect me, but how was I supposed to protect everyone I loved?

As much as I was glad that the most dramatic aspects of my transformation seemed to be halted for now, I was still weak and fragile and vulnerable. I couldn’t protect myself, let alone my family. And I hated relying on the Cullens to take care of things. They didn’t deserve to be put in danger because of me. No one did.


	8. Chapter 8

I slept restlessly that night.

_There were hundreds of pairs of eyes glowing in the blackness. They shifted from red to black to gold and back again. I tried to close my eyes, to turn away, but I couldn’t feel anything, just the darkness. One by one the pairs of eyes blinked out drawing me deeper into darkness until there was only one pair left. Red. Blood red. Angry, hungry._

I went back to the Cullen’s house the next morning. Edward met me in the entryway and kissed me lightly. He had spent most of the night at my house, so it had only been a few hours since I had seen him, but I still missed him.

“How was your morning?” He asked me.

“Boring, how was yours?” I said.

“Boring, without you,” he smiled. Most of the group from last night had dissipated, so when we made our way to the living room only Carlisle, Eleazer, and Carmen were still where I had left them all the night before.

“Good morning, Bella,” Carlisle said.

“Morning,” I said.

“Did you sleep well?” Carlisle asked.

“Yes,” I lied. No one seemed to notice, or if they did, they let it slide. “Where is everyone?”

“They went for a run,” Edward said. Carlisle frowned at him. He didn’t say anything, but after a moment of prolonged eye contact Edward sighed and turned to me again, “they are running a perimeter to check for Victoria’s scent. Laurent is helping us try to identify if she is going to be a threat.”

“Oh,” I said. “Good.”

Edward watched me carefully for a reaction. I was terrified of Victoria, but I didn’t flinch. There was a room full of people here watching me, I wasn’t going to show them how scared I was.

“You don’t have to keep things from me,” I said. “You don’t have to protect me.”

“Yes, I do.” Edward said.

“No one is going to get hurt.” Carmen said. Carlisle and Eleazer nodded in agreement.

Carlisle’s phone rang through the quiet house. He sped over to a table and was already talking as I was piecing his movements together.

Edward leaned down to whisper in my ear, since I was the only person who couldn’t hear the entire conversation.

“It’s Emmett.” He said. Finally. Carlisle wandered into the hall to talk to him. I knew the others could still hear, but they pretended they weren’t listening and turned their attention back to me.

“The others should be back soon,” Carmen said.

“I can’t hear them yet,” Edward said.

“How are Rosalie and Emmett?” Carmen asked Edward. “We were sad to hear they are out of town.”

“They’re well.” He said. “They went to Europe in search of information about Bella’s condition. And for the chance to have another honeymoon.”

“Have they found anything?” Eleazer pressed. They both seemed very interested in me and my half vampire biology.

“Not yet, this is the first we’ve heard from them in a while,” Edward said.

Carlisle returned a few minutes later and sat back down on the couch.

“Any news?” Carmen asked, politely.

“Emmett and Rosalie are sorry to have missed you all, they wish they could be here.” Carlisle said, “Emmett informed me that they have not had much luck with their time in Europe, and they are anxious to get some space from the watchful eye of the Volturi as soon as possible.

“Surely the Volturi would be a great asset in learning about Bella’s condition?” Eleazer said.

“We decided it would be best not to involve the Volturi unless it is absolutely necessary. For Bella’s safety. I’m sure you understand why attracting attention to ourselves may not be in our best interest.” Carlisle said.

“A hybrid is a grey area in the eyes of the Volturi, and they only see in black and white.” Edward said. Edward had told me enough before that I knew to fear the Volturi, but he spoke with such certainty that it sent a new shiver of terror down my spine.

Eleazer nodded in understanding.

“I’m sending them to stay with our friends in Ireland. They will be safe there.” Carlisle said.

“The others are on their way back.” Edward interrupted.

Everyone waited in silence. I slipped my hand into Edward’s and he squeezed it gingerly. It felt like the walls were closing in on me, and Edward could sense it. I had to keep it together for a while longer. I wanted to hear what the others had found.

They all swept in a few minutes later. Alice and Jasper were suddenly standing right next to me. Esme was hand in hand with Carlisle. The rest of the Denalis were all standing behind the couch where Carmen and Eleazer were sitting. There were scattered murmurs of greeting.

“Did you find anything?” Carlisle asked.

“We ran the perimeter of the town, and we didn’t find any traces of Victoria,” Esme said.

“She hasn’t been to town recently,” Laurent confirmed. I let out a sigh of relief and realized I had been holding my breath since they got here. Edward pulled me tighter against his side.

“We found something else,” Esme said. “The wolves are back.”

“You’re certain?” Carlisle said.

“Wolves?” Eleazer asked. I didn’t understand what they meant either.

“Shapeshifters,” Esme said, “the protectors of the Quileute tribe. I recognized their scent along the boundary between our land and theirs.”

“Werewolves?” I whispered. Something flickered in the back of my mind as I said the word.

“For all intents and purposes, yes.” Carlisle said. “Perhaps we should warn them, about Victoria.”

“We don’t even have evidence that she’s been here yet,” Jasper said.

“Jazz is right, we should wait until we know whether or not she’s going to be a threat.” Edward said. Laurent looked like he wanted to argue the point, but he stayed quiet.

Carlisle nodded. The group started to break off into smaller, less charged conversations. Edward pulled me away into the kitchen to give me a moment to process.

“Werewolves?” I said again.

“We have an understanding with them, a treaty.” Edward said, “we don’t harm humans and we don’t set foot on their land. And they allow us to live here peacefully.”

“Like turn on the moon, silver bullet werewolves? Or werewolves in the same way you guys claim to be vampires,” I tried to tease him, but my tone was flat. But the myths were so wrong about vampires, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were wrong about this too.

“Not that kind of werewolf, no.” Edward said.

“Edward,” my voice was even, but it felt hollow, “it’s too much.”

“I know,” he said.

“What are we going to do?” I asked.

“I will keep you safe.”

“How?” It was the same promise he made to me yesterday. It was the same promise he made before I went to Phoenix.

“Trust me.” He said.

“I do trust you.” But Edward had no way of knowing that he could keep that promise. And the sheer number of enemies suddenly threatening me sent ripples of fear through me. The Volturi, the existence of werewolves, Laurent and Victoria, and my own body betraying me, it felt like it was enough to crush me.

“We should go back in,” Edward said. “The Denalis—” he trailed off.

We walked back to the living room and the others were all standing in a loose circle talking again.

“Are you sure?” Carlisle was saying.

“I think it would be best for all of us.” Tanya said. “You are clearly dealing with a lot right now, and we wouldn’t want to attract unwanted attention or be an unnecessary distraction.”

“You are always welcome here,” Esme said.

“As are you, in our home,” Tanya said. “But we really should be going.”

“I would like to stay.” Laurent said, suddenly. “Irina and I would like to continue helping you track Victoria.”

“Of course.” Carlisle said. “We would appreciate the help.”

“It was lovely to see you, as always,” Carmen said.

“And we are so glad to finally have met you, Bella,” Kate said.

“Yeah, you too.” I said.

There was a flurry of goodbyes and hugs. Laurent and Irina walked over to stand by us and waved to their family. We followed them to the door and waved a final goodbye before they took off running into the trees.

Just like that, they were gone.

“Thank you for agreeing to help us,” Carlisle said.

“Laurent is concerned about Victoria,” Irina said, “and he can track her better than any of us.”

“I will find her,” Laurent promised, “and if she is a threat, we will take care of it.”

So far Laurent was the only person who had any evidence that Victoria was still around. We had no choice but to trust him, but I still didn’t like it.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few days were quiet. With most of the Denalis back in Alaska and Rose and Emmett heading for Ireland, things were calming back down. There were still plenty of things to worry about, but there wasn’t much to do except wait for something to happen.

Edward had promised to let me know if Laurent or the others caught Victoria’s scent, and we weren’t expecting to hear from Rose and Emmett for a while. None of the threats had disappeared, but for now we were in a holding pattern.

The Cullen’s answered some of my questions about the Quileutes and what they knew of their werewolf ancestry. I wanted to talk to Jake about it, but Edward made me promise not to get involved before Carlisle met with their alpha, Sam. I wanted answers, but I didn’t want to stir up any more trouble or get them involved with all of my drama. Enough innocent people were already in danger because of me.

Carlisle wanted to ask Sam to help us keep an eye out for Victoria, but the rest of the Cullen’s convinced him to wait until we had something to report since we hadn’t been able to catch any trace of her. I was on their side because Laurent was still the only person who has seen any evidence of her since we killed James. 

I was sitting alone on the couch in Edward’s room when there was a soft knock on the door. I set my book down on the table and sat up straighter.

“Come in,” I said. I didn’t bother to raise my voice, whoever it was could hear me perfectly well on the other side of the door.

The door opened and Laurent stepped inside. He walked gingerly, his muddy gold eyes watching me. He closed the door, exaggerating his slow movements in what seemed like an attempt to be as nonthreatening as possible.

“Oh, hi,” I said. I stood up and motioned for him to come in.

“Hello, Bella,” he said. He continued into the room at a slow pace, gauging my reaction and stopping several feet away from him. As if he couldn’t close that distance before I could blink.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked. Edward was out hunting with Alice and Jasper, he wouldn’t be back until this evening. Laurent seemed to be taking that opportunity to get me alone.

He shook his head very slightly.

“I simply wanted to discuss my presence here. It seems to make you uncomfortable, and I would like to ease any reservations you might have about me.” He said.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

“So do you,” he asked, “have any reservations?”

Something in me was telling me not to let him know that I was afraid. I smoothed out the expression on my face and kept my voice low.

“It’s nice that you’ve agreed to help us.” I said.

“We didn’t exactly meet in the most amiable situation,” he pressed.

“No, we didn’t,” I agreed.

“James and Victoria were always a means to an end for me. My allegiances lie with Irina now. With my coven, and with yours.”

“I want to believe you.” I said. “But you have no reason to go against Victoria either.”

“As I said, they were a means of survival, Irina has shown me a way of living.” He said.

His presence still had me on edge. I trusted the Cullens, and they trusted the Denalis, and the Denalis trusted Laurent, but extending my trust along with them was a stretch I couldn’t make just yet. He looked me over again curiously, and I was reminded that he could see all my vampiric qualities much better than I could, admiring James’ work perhaps.

“Why did you agree to help us? Irina wasn’t in any danger from Victoria,” I asked.

“There is no bad blood between Victoria and I, this is true, but there is bad blood between you and I,” he chuckled, “sorry for the turn of phrase. I hoped offering you my loyalty and my services would repair some of the damage.”

“Thank you for helping us.” I said. I didn’t know if this would change how I felt, but I did appreciate the gesture.

“I will leave you too it then, Bella,” he said as he turned to go. “Thank you for indulging me.”

He left and I settled back into my book. I wanted to trust him, I wanted him to be the person that Irina and Carlisle and the others believed him to be. But when I thought of him, it also brought flashes of James. The fear burned in the pit of my stomach, the fire raged all around me and inside me. I could hear the cracking of my bones and his laughter bouncing off the mirrored walls. Laurent was not James and he had not sided with him like Victoria had, but my brain couldn’t break the association.

I sat and stared at the same page of my book for the rest of the afternoon replaying Laurent’s words in my head. He had said all the right things, and I had no reason not to believe what he had told me. I resolved to try to trust Laurent. James was gone and he wasn’t ever coming back. Laurent wanted to help and I wanted to let him. That was enough for now.

Crickets started to chirp through the open window and a cool evening breeze drifted into the room. Just as the day was shifting to night, Edward returned. I saw them streaking across the lawn, and one blur split off and streaked into the room through the open window. He came to an effortless halt right in front of me. The only indication that he had been running was his bronze hair thrown back from the wind.

He flashed a warm crooked smile and turned to fall onto the couch next to me. He pressed several kisses onto my cheeks and then one softly to my lips before pulling away again.

“How was your day?” He said.

His sudden nearness left me disoriented and I took a moment to set my book down and compose myself before looking him in the eye again.

“Okay,” I said. “How was yours?”

“Good, but I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” I said. We sat in the comfort of one another’s presence for a minute. “I talked to Laurent today,” I finally offered.

“Oh?”

“He wanted to make sure I was okay with him being here.”

“And are you?” He said.

“I don’t know. He’s been so helpful and I don’t have any reason to doubt what he says, but I just can’t shake the feeling.”

“What feeling?”

“Fear.” I said. The word felt heavy, like it was carrying the weight of all the other thoughts and feelings that were spinning in my brain from this afternoon. Edward pulled me into his chest and held me.

“What can I do?” He asked.

“This is good,” I mumbled into his chest. His arms around me were softening the tightness in my chest. He pulled me closer and traced patterns on my back with his long fingers. I let everything wash away in the safety of his touch.

“Where does your dad think you are?” Edward asked. I had been spending as much time at the Cullen’s house as I could, especially during the days when Charlie was at work, so they could protect me easier.

“I knew you wouldn’t be back until late, so I told him I was sleeping over at Angela’s.” I snuggled into his side, happy to not have to hurry home and put on my human façade for Charlie. “Who is running patrols tonight?”

“Esme, Carlisle, and Irina,” he said. “They’re running the perimeter, and they will check in on Charlie.”

“Are we being overprotective? Victoria hasn’t even been into town yet, how do we even know she’s going to be a threat?”

“It can’t hurt, she was James’ mate. If anything happened to you.” His jaw was clenched and he lowered his voice to a whisper. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do.”

“You’re right. Have them keep an eye on Charlie tonight.” I said.

Edward nodded. I stared into his bright eyes. They were always the brightest right after he returned from hunting, like liquid gold.

“What should we do tonight?” Edward asked. His hands danced delicately on my skin, thoroughly scrambling my brain.

“Anything you want,” I whispered. Edward was all I could think about now. I didn’t care where we were or what we were doing as long as I got to be with him.

“I want to show you something.” He said, pulling me to my feet. I wasn’t dizzy from the motion, my brain was much better at keeping track of my surroundings now, but his graceful body sent my mind spinning.

I nodded and followed him out of his room and down the hall. I heard Alice and Jasper talking loudly in their room as we passed, but the rest of the house was quiet as we wandered down the stairs to Edward’s music room. Carlisle, Esme, and Irina must have already left to patrol, and Laurent was no where to be found.

Edward sat down at the piano bench and I settled down next him. His fingers traced the keys lightly, not pressing any of them at first.

“What did you want to show me,” I asked.

“I’ve been thinking about a piece I wrote a long time ago. It was the first piece I composed after my transformation. I thought you might want to hear it.”

“I would love to.” Edward had played lots of songs for me before. Some he had written and others were classical pieces he had learned over the years, but this seemed different. He took a breath and pressed his hands to the keys.

The first notes were soft, but quick and confused. I didn’t know anything about music theory, but Edward’s compositions were so full of emotion that I found it easy to hear what he was feeling in his pieces as plainly as if he were speaking to me. The notes grew more complex and he carried several different melodies that wound around each other. He was sad and overwhelmed and conflicted.

We both lost ourselves in the music for a moment, mourning the loss of our humanity together, a sadness that spanned a hundred years.

The last chords were soft again, but happier, hopeful.

“Thank you.” I whispered. My voice, even quiet as it was, seemed to break us away from the moment.

“You’re welcome.” He responded and turned toward me to kiss my forehead.

“Play it again?”

He smiled and turned to face the keys. 


	10. Chapter 10

I was trying hard not to fall asleep when I woke up. Edward was holding me against his chest, and he felt me jolt awake.

“Bella?” He whispered.

“Mmm,” I said, waking up fully. “I was trying to stay awake.”

“You’ve been asleep for almost 6 hours,” he said.

“Hmph,” I pouted and pushed myself up against the pillows so I was leaning against the headboard. His bed frame was much less practical than mine, but the bed was so soft that it was impossible to be uncomfortable. 

“Go back to sleep love, it’s the middle of the night.”

“I can’t believe my skin sparkles and my eyes have gone red, but I still have to sleep all night. Its so unfair.”

“Trust me, after a couple decades you miss it,” Edward said wryly.

“What is everyone else doing right now?” It was annoying to be the only person in the whole house who needed to sleep.

“Esme and Jasper are running a perimeter, Alice is deciding what she is going to wear tomorrow, and Carlisle, Irina, and Laurent are discussing strategies.” Edward listed off, trying to appease me.

“Strategies?” I prodded.

“Irina is suggesting that she and Laurent try to pick up Victoria’s scent from the last place they knew she was to track her. Laurent thinks that she knows we are guarding you, and that’s why she’s keeping her distance.”

“And if we let our guard down?”

“She would take advantage of that. But it doesn’t matter because we aren’t going to do that.”

“We can’t keep this up forever.”

I slumped back against the pillows and crossed my arms. Edward smiled and held out his arms so I could lay back against his chest.

He started humming the song he had played for me that evening. I let my eyes close and drifted off.

-

I spent the next day at home with Charlie. Laurent and Irina had decided to head further north to try to find a lead on Victoria, so I was spending another day waiting for news.

I was sitting on the couch reading. Charlie had come back into the house from getting the mail, flipping through and sorting out the junk. Most of them seemed to be college advertisements for me.

“It’s not too early to start thinking about it,” Charlie said, tossing a stack of bright pamphlets at me.

I rolled my eyes and set them on the coffee table.

“Ouch,” he said. I looked up to see him set down a half opened envelope and hold out his finger.

Something in me knew what had happened before my senses even registered the paper cut. My muscles tensed, ready to lunge. My throat felt dry, as if I hadn’t had anything to drink in days. I heard a knock on the door, and I saw Charlie turn to answer it, but I couldn’t move. I knew that any movement would cause me to lose control and send me reeling towards Charlie. I sat as still as I could, holding my breath to keep myself from smelling the blood.

“Oh, its you.” I heard Charlie say from the hallway.

“Chief Swan,” Edward said. His voice sounded strangled. He was holding his breath too.

Charlie reappeared in the living room with Edward behind him. Edward’s eyes were wide as he walked over to stand by me. Charlie looked at the two of us, and turned toward the kitchen. I could hear him grumbling about Edward and the paper cut as he rummaged around in the drawers for a band-aid.

“Upstairs.” Edward said through his teeth. Edward grabbed my hand and towed me up the stairs. I followed, holding my breath to be safe.

I sat down on the bed. My lungs were now burning along with my throat, I’d been holding my breath too long. I sat down on my bed and took a breath.

“Are you okay?” Edward sat down next to me, his hands hovering protectively.

“I think so,” I said, “the blood.”

“When I came in I could hear your heart beating, but I couldn’t hear you breathing. I was worried.”

“I didn’t want to smell the blood. I didn’t know what I would do if—” I closed my eyes and let out another slow breath.

“Are you feeling faint?” Edward asked. He was still hovering, but his tone was teasing.

“No.” I realized that he didn’t understand what had happened. “No, Edward, the blood. I wanted it.”

Edward stopped.

“I almost attacked him.” I could barely get the words out. I wasn’t even sure what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped myself.

“What if I had hurt him?” I said. Edward was quiet. The pulse of my somehow still beating heart was unchanged, but my mind was spinning and twisting around in circles trying to compensate for the lack of response that my body was giving it.

“You didn’t, Bella.” He whispered.

We both heard Charlie’s boots coming up the creaky stairs.

“Hey, you two,” Charlie called, “the door stays open. You know the rules, Bells.”

Edward turned and cracked the door open.

“Sorry, Dad.” I said. I was mostly apologizing for almost jumping him because he got a paper cut.

“Behave yourselves.” He said as he turned and went into his room.

“Edward.” I whispered. I knew he could hear me, no matter how much I lowered my voice. “I could hurt him. I have to get out of here.”

“My parents invited you over for dinner tonight.” Edward said loud enough for Charlie to hear.

“Hey, Dad?” I called, “will you be okay on your own for dinner?”

“I’m sure I’ll survive,” he said. “Just be back before ten.”

I slipped my shoes on and we headed for the door. I had to keep myself from running headlong down the stairs to get away.

I felt much calmer once we were outside. The air was clean and smelled of dirt and rain. Edward had driven, so we got in his car and headed for the Cullen house.

Esme was the only person home when we got there. She was elbow deep in paint standing in front of a huge canvas laid out in the living room. She barely acknowledged us when we walked in, she seemed lost in thought.

“Esme,” Edward said.

“Yes, dear?” She wasn’t startled by his voice, but she remained staring at the painting.

“When will Carlisle be back?”

“Not for a few hours, he picked up an extra shift at the hospital.” She finally turned to face us. “Do you two need something?”

“There was—” Edward paused trying to decide what to say, “an incident.”

“What happened?” She asked.

“Charlie cut his hand and there was some blood. Bella,” he didn’t seem to know how to explain.

“I almost lost control,” I said. I could barely hear my own voice, I found myself shrinking away from Esme’s stern expression.

“Let’s go sit in the study. I’ll wash up and meet you there.” Esme sped into the kitchen and Edward pulled me up the stairs to Carlisle’s office.

“Is she mad?” I asked him as we sat on the couch in the back of the room. Esme joined us before he could answer.

“Of course not.” Esme said, spinning one of the chairs around to face us and sitting down. “I have made my fair share of mistakes, and this doesn’t even qualify.” She looked up at me, her expression still serious, but soft and understanding. “This is the first time something like this has happened?”

“Yes.” I promised. “I didn’t even realize what was happening at first. I’ve never felt so out of control.”

Esme and Edward just nodded. They knew the feeling.

“Does this mean I will have to start drinking blood?”

“Just because the instinct is there, doesn’t mean that your body can’t still survive on human food.” Edward answered, quicker than I was expecting.

“Are you still feeling thirsty?” Esme pressed.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Can I make you something to eat?” Esme offered.

“Sure.” I didn’t know if that would help, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.

“I’m going to call Carlisle.” Edward said. He pulled out his phone, and Esme led me back down into the kitchen.

She flitted around the kitchen pulling things from the cabinets. They kept a fully stocked kitchen now, in case I was ever hungry, but I had never really used it.

I ate the food she set in front of me, barely registering what it was.

“How are you feeling?” Esme asked. She had hopped lightly up onto the counter and was sitting on the island next to me. She had always had such a maternal presence, but seeing her head to toe covered in paint, and now sitting on her counter swinging her legs like a child, she seemed much younger.

“Okay.” I said. Her eyes were dark gold, and she kept them on me, waiting for a real answer. “I’m worried about Charlie. How can I keep living with him?”

“I can imagine,” she said. “When I was first turned, I couldn’t be around humans for a long time. Next to Jasper, I have the most difficulty with controlling it.”

I was surprised. Edward had told me that besides Carlisle everyone had slipped up before, but I just couldn’t picture Esme hurting someone.

“At first, when it was just Edward and Carlisle and myself, I had to stay locked away. The mysterious doctor’s wife who no one ever got to meet because I was terrified of hurting someone.”

“How did you get control of it?” I asked.

“Time, I’m afraid. Years and years of practice. Carlisle has endless patience, which is something I’ve never been sure I deserved.”

“He loves you a lot.”

“As Edward does you.” Esme promised. “We all do, we’re a family. Carlisle wasn’t the only person who helped me get control. Edward taught me a lot of what I know about this life.”

“I’m afraid to go home.” Once again, it wasn’t the Cullen’s that I didn’t trust. I knew Edward would do everything in his power to help me through this. “What if Edward isn’t there the next time this happens.”

“You’re going to have to trust yourself. You have the ability to control it, but you have to find it within yourself.” Esme hopped down off the counter and took the empty plate from me, setting it in the empty sink and returning to my side with a smile.

“Thanks, Esme.” I said.

I didn’t know how I was going to go back and face Charlie. I couldn’t avoid him forever, especially when I only had a limited amount of time left with him. When I chose this as the life I wanted I knew I would have to say goodbye to him eventually, but it suddenly felt very real and immediate and I didn’t know how I was ever going to be ready for that.

And what about everyone else? It wasn’t just Charlie that I had to be careful around now, and school started back up again in a few weeks. Edward had always been adamant that I have as many human experiences as he could give me and senior year was supposed to be packed full of rites of passage, but now I wasn’t even sure I would be able to finish high school.


	11. Chapter 11

Edward drove me home that night. We pulled up to the curb five minutes before curfew. Esme and Edward had convinced me that I would be able to be around Charlie, and Edward had promised to stay by my side as long as I needed him in case something happened, but I needed to do this on my own. I needed to trust myself, like Esme had said. I just hoped she was right.

“I’ll just drop the car back off at my house and bring Carlisle up to speed and then I will be back. You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Edward told me again as he walked me up to the door. He had already gone over the plan several times on the drive over, but it was still reassuring to hear.

“Liar.” I said. I took an unsteady breath, all I could smell was wet grass and pine needles. “I always notice when you’re gone.”

“I will be back as soon as I can, love,” he kissed my forehead when we reached the door. “You will be just fine.”

I just nodded. I watched him head back for the car and peel out of the drive, racing back to his house as fast as the car would take him. I could feel the venom coursing through my entire body, threatening to overwhelm me.

I took another breath and opened the door. Charlie was sitting in the living room watching a game.

“Hey Bells, good timing,” he said. The game seemed to be wrapping up as I kicked my shoes off and took a tentative breath in. I could smell the leftovers Charlie had reheated for dinner, the familiar musty furniture, and a slight damp breeze from an open window in the kitchen, but nothing that triggered the violent instincts inside me.

“How’s your hand?” I asked casually, standing behind the couch.

“Huh?” Charlie looked down at his hands and saw the band-aid wrapped around his finger. “Oh, yeah. It’s nothing.”

Of course it hadn’t been a big deal to him. Charlie carried on being blissfully unaware of the chaos I was surrounded in. Some days I wanted to tell him. It would make everything so much easier if he just understood, but I knew I never could. He could never know.

“I’m going to bed.” I told him, suddenly sad.

“Okay, I’m right behind you. G’night,” he said.

“Goodnight Dad.”

I went to my room and got ready for bed. Edward wasn’t back yet, so I took my time brushing out my hair and changing into my pajamas. I was already getting into bed when Edward slipped effortlessly into my room through my open window.

He walked over to me without a word and pulled me into his arms. I pressed my head into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him.

“I told you I’d be back.” He murmured into my ear as he pulled me down onto the bed with him. “How did it go with Charlie?”

“Good. No blood, no problem.”

“That’s good,” Edward pressed.

“Yeah, but I could still hurt him. If there was an accident, if it was more than just a paper cut, I don’t know if I could stop myself.”

A vision of myself crouched over Charlie, blood dripping from my hands and my lips, danced in the periphery of my mind. A fear I was refusing to fully acknowledge.

“I know.” He said, a little sharper than I expected. “Have you forgotten the draw you had for me?”

I suddenly felt guilty. I had always trusted Edward so implicitly that sometimes I forgot how difficult it was for him to be around me.

“I’m sorry,” I rushed.

“You don’t have to apologize, love.” He said. “I was merely reminding you that I understand exactly what you’re going through.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Bella, it’s okay, but you’ll recall that I have been faced with that particular dilemma.”

The flames reflecting off the mirrors of the ballet studio flashed in my mind.

“I still don’t understand how you did it.” I said. “How you stopped.”

“I love you,” he said simply. “More than anything on this Earth, and I know that now.” He slid closer to me and pressed a kiss to my throat. My blood pulsed slowly against his lips. “Of course it’s different now.”

“You don’t want me anymore?” I whispered.

“There will never come a day where I don’t want you,” he said, “but your scent is changing.”

I was suddenly self conscious. I worried that it wasn’t the same for him anymore, that maybe all the pieces of me that Edward liked were slipping away with my humanity.

“You don’t miss it?” I asked. He smirked at me and kissed me again lightly.

“No, I don’t miss it. You’re still you, and it is not entirely altered. Its just a little sharper now, with the venom fully absorbed into your bloodstream. It’s interesting,” he mused, “it’s still more powerful that any other human’s scent for me, but at the same time it's less appetizing. Alluring, yet inedible. I’m not sure I know exactly how to explain.”

I frowned at the thought. I was losing the thing that drew him to me in the first place.

“But you’re still warm.” He murmured. Running his hand up and down my arm. The skin tingled slightly under his touch. He traced my scar, drawing slow circles around my hand.

“Warmer than you.” I conceded.

“And you still smell like your strawberry shampoo and the pages of your books and the rust from your truck.”

“Don’t knock the truck,” I teased with a slight smile. “What about when I don’t have to wash my hair anymore and the truck breaks down and I’m the same temperature as you?” I pushed.

“Bella,” he shook his head, “you misunderstand me. I love your humanity and I want to cherish it for as long as I can, but even after your heart stops beating I will still love you. The things you bring with you into your next life and all the new parts of you.”

I nodded, satisfied. He was always so reluctant to discuss what it would be like after I was fully changed. He wasn’t ready for me to be a vampire yet, that much we both still new, but he was beginning to accept that it was where I was headed. Neither of us had any in say in the matter anymore, but his words calmed the growing tension inside me.

The venom continued to pulse through my veins and seep into my bones, and I welcomed it, willing it to go further, to change me completely.

“I love you.” I reminded him.

“And I you.” He promised in return.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read/liked/commented on this fic. you've all been so kind and i'm not sure i would have had the motivation to keep working on it without you. so here we are, like four months after my last update, with a new chapter! this is one of my favorites that i've written and i'm so glad i finally finished it.

“Hello?” I answered the phone after several rings. Edward was trailing behind me with a hand still on my waist, having finally released me and allowed me to reach the phone. I lightly swatted his hand away with a teasing smile in his direction. I couldn’t hold a coherent conversation with his hands on me like that.

“Bella?” Jacob said through the phone. My forgotten breakfast was sitting on the table next to us, so Edward sat down at the table and fiddled with the spoon swirling it around in the soggy cereal. He sighed, recognizing the voice as well as I did.

“Hey, Jake.” I said.

“Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a while.” He said.

“I know, I’m sorry, time got away from me I guess.” I admitted.

“Well are you free today?” He asked.

“Yeah, what do you want to do?”

“How would you feel about the beach?”

“That sounds great, I’ll meet you there,” I said. The end of summer was fast approaching and I had hardly seen Jacob at all. I missed him, and I felt guilty for letting all my drama get in the way. Edward looked up at me miserably.

“Cool, I’ll see you soon then,” he said. I could hear him smiling through the phone.

I hung up and sat back down across from Edward.

“Change of plans,” I said despite the fact that I knew he had heard everything.

“Bella, I don’t think it’s safe.”

“You’re just a phone call away. And we still have no news on Victoria, she hasn’t been anywhere near here.”

“She’s still a threat. But more importantly, going to La Push is dangerous for you now.” He insisted.

“What do you mean? The werewolves?”

“The treaty protects us as long as we stay away from their land. We have no idea what they would do if you’re caught there.”

“I’m not a Cullen. And I’m not a vampire.” I said. Carlisle had explained the treaty to me, and I was the definition of a loophole right now.

“They may not make those distinctions. They may not even bother to ask.” He gritted his teeth at the idea.

“How would they even know?”

“They are designed to track vampires Bella, we can’t risk it.”

He had a point. I had no idea whether they would be able to sense me or how they would react if they did.

“If you caught my scent in passing would you think I was a vampire or someone who was dating a vampire and spent all her time with you?”

“It’s not worth the risk to find out.” He said, but I could tell he didn’t entirely disagree with my logic.

“I’m going.” I stood up and went to put on my shoes. Edward stayed at the table and watched me.

“Please,” was all he said as I got ready to go. I grabbed my keys and kissed his forehead.

“I will be fine.” I left him sitting at my table and headed for my car.

I took a deep breath and started the truck. The drive to La Push was the same as it always was, but I found myself wondering where exactly the boundary was. It didn’t feel any different on the other side of the treaty line, but my eyes kept leaving the road to scan the forest for any movement.

I pulled into the parking lot at the beach. Jake’s Rabbit was already parked, and I saw him sitting on a driftwood log down by the water.

I got out of the truck and walked down. The sun was hidden behind plenty of clouds, but my skin was tingling with anxiety and I pulled my sleeves down over my hands. I had changed a lot since I’d last seen him.

“Hey Bells!” Jake called as he turned around to see me.

“Hey,” I smiled at his wide grin.

“I hardly even recognize you,” he teased. My skin prickled at the thought.

“I could say the same about you,” I shot back. He was definitely taller than the last time I had seen him. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was tangling around his shoulders in the breeze.

I walked around the log and sat down. We watched the waves in comfortable silence for a few minutes, just happy to be in each other’s company.

“How have you been?” He asked.

“Busy, but good.” I said. I didn’t know how to explain my summer in a way he would understand. “How are you?”

“Good, I guess.” He seemed to be holding something back from me too. We both shifted to face one another. He bit at his bottom lip and his leg was bouncing up and down on the log. Maybe he had noticed something about me.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, terrified of the answer. He started to shake his head, but I could see the sweat on his forehead.

Before I could push any further the wind picked up and I heard a scream that carried from the cliffs. I looked up in time to see three figures watching as another fell from the top of the cliffs toward the black water below.

“Jake!” I grabbed his arm and pointed up at them. “Oh my god, we have to help him.”

“He’s fine, Bella.” Jake’s voice was annoyed, but calm.

“What?”

“They’re cliff jumping. He did it on purpose.” He squeezed my hand and pointed up at the top of the cliff. “Just watch.”

One of the guys at the top watched as the first hit the water before running to the edge and flinging himself out as far as he could. He did a flip in midair as he plummeted toward the water.

“See?”

“Oh.” It didn’t seem like fun to me. Maybe I would get it once I was truly indestructible.

“That’s Sam Uley. The guy who jumped first was Embry.”

“Embry? As in your friend Embry?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he doing with Sam? Are they friends?” I tried to hide my sudden desperate interest in the boys that were now swimming to shore at the other end of the beach. I knew Sam was the alpha of the pack, but I didn’t know who any of the others were. Would he be able to sense me from there?

“I guess,” Jake said in the same annoyed tone. “He started hanging around with Sam’s gang a while ago. I’ve hardly seen him since.”

Sam’s gang, that must be them. I felt bad for Jake, but I didn’t know how well I would be able to hide my reactions to such a pointed conversation. I kept my hand on his arm and moved my thumb in soothing circles over his bicep and gave him what I hoped was a sympathetic smile.

The other guys at the top of the cliff quickly followed suit and the pack of them started swimming towards shore. Towards us.

I felt like I could hardly breath as I watched Sam emerge from the water. Embry and the other two guys who had jumped after him were following close behind. They were laughing, Embry kicked up a spray of water at the other two and was tackled by into the waves by the taller one. Sam stood on the beach wringing out his hair, waiting for the others.

I watched his head turn towards us and I held my breath. I strained my eyes trying to gauge his reaction as he watched Jake and I from the other end of the beach.

Jake glared at him. His entire body was shaking now. I tried to seem as indifferent as possible, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Sam said something to the others and they all fell in line with him still dripping wet. They started walking towards us.

Jake looked away. He was wringing his hands together as they approached. I was tensed, trying to decide whether to run or hold my ground. Maybe Edward had been right after all. How could I be so reckless?

“Hey,” Sam called. His voice was deep, and it carried across the beach.

I could feel Jake still shaking beside me. His skin was hot under my hand and he was breathing heavily.

“Jake?” I tried to pull my focus away from the pack. Jake stood up, still shaking.

“Something is wrong.” Jake said.

“Hey!” Sam was running now, closing the space between us in seconds. I took an involuntary step back, bracing myself for his approach, but he stopped a few feet short of us.

“What’s going on?” I said. Jake was looking at Sam with a wild gaze. The other guys hung back behind Sam, waiting for something.

“Jacob.” Sam said calmly. “Take a deep breath. Let it happen.” Sam then turned to me. “You need to get out of here.”

I stumbled back a few more steps, but I couldn’t bear the idea of leaving Jake like this. I didn’t even know what was wrong.

“Bella,” Jake’s voice was a whisper. I couldn’t leave him. They would have to kill me first.

“We have to help him,” I said. Sam shot me an angry look and moved to stand between Jake and me.

“It’s not safe. You need to leave.” Sam repeated.

“What’s happening to him?” I was yelling now.

“Jared,” was Sam’s only reply.

The guy next to Embry responded immediately. He walked over to me, giving Jake and Sam a wide berth.

Jake yelled something and dropped to his knees. I felt my knees buckle with him, but Jared had a hand on me now, dragging me back.

“We have to help him!” I begged. I didn’t care if they killed me after, but I needed to make sure Jake was okay first.

“I am helping him.” Sam kept his eyes on Jake.

I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. I heard Jake yell again, but it was drowned out by a howl. Sam and Jared’s bodies obscured Jake as he fell. I heard myself screaming, but Jared was holding me now. I pushed my head around his arm, trying to find Jake.

A hulking mass a red fur was hovering over Sam now. My mind couldn’t keep up with my eyes.

“Get her out of here.” Sam called. Jared picked me up. I wanted to fight against him, but I was still searching desperately for Jake. “Paul.” Sam said as the other guy stepped up beside him.

And then Sam phased into a huge black wolf and everything fell into place. Paul followed suit and suddenly there were three werewolves standing on the beach in front of me howling.

Embry ran over to where Jared was holding me as I struggled to see what was happening.

“Bella,” Embry said, his voice was calm.

“He’s a werewolf.” I said. Jake. My Jake.

The wolves were circling each other until the red one, Jake, took off for the woods at the other end of the beach. Sam and Paul followed him.

Jared released his grip on me. Embry, Jared, and I now stood on an empty beach.

“Bella,” Embry said again. I met his gaze, still unsure whether they were going to hurt me. “Do you know what is happening?”

“Yes.” I’m turning into a vampire and my best friend is a werewolf. I wanted to laugh, but instead I felt tears well up and spill over.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I brushed away the tears. “Is Jake going to be okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Embry seemed to relax when he realized my concerns.

“We’ve been waiting for him.” Jared smiled. He was excited. “Sam said it was only a matter of time.”

“You don’t need to worry about him Bella, we’ll take care of him.” Embry said.

“What do you know?” Jared asked. “We’re sworn to secrecy, but it’s a little late for that now.”

“Not much about you,” I admitted, “but I know about vampires.” I watched closely for any reaction.

“Ugh,” Embry said. “Jake told me about you and that Cullen guy.”

“Explains why you smell the way you do.” Jared said. I tensed up again. “I guess when you spend all day hanging around leeches it rubs off on you.”

I felt tears prick again.

“I should go.” I said. I wanted to make sure Jacob was okay, but I also needed to talk to the Cullens. I shouldn’t have come here.

“Sam will want to talk to you.” Jared said firmly.

“Where did they go?” I couldn’t hear the howling anymore. 

“Out in the woods, we can’t risk anyone else seeing them. We’re lucky it was just us out here today. They’ll take him to Sam and Emily’s once they get him to phase back.” Embry said.

“How long?”

“It depends,” Jared said, “but Sam will be talking him through it now. Shouldn’t be too long once he understands what’s going on.”

“Okay, can I wait there?”

“Yeah, you mind giving us a ride?” Embry asked.

I nodded and Embry and Jared followed me back up the beach to my truck.

“How can you love a bloodsucker?” Jared said when we reached the car. He seemed genuinely confused.

“Edward, the Cullen’s, they aren’t like the others. They don’t hurt people.” I said. Jared didn’t seem convinced.

Embry sat in the cab with me, while Jared jumped into the back. Embry gave me directions, but the ride was mostly quiet. I pulled up to a small house and Jared jumped out of the back. A woman, Emily I assumed, opened the door to greet us before I had even pulled the keys out of the ignition.

“You’ve brought a guest?” Emily smiled in my direction.

“Jake finally phased. Sam and Paul are with him now. Shouldn’t be long now.” Jared said. “Bella was there when it happened.”

Emily raised an eyebrow at me, but invited me into the house as Jared explained.

“She dating one of the Cullens, so as witnesses go she’s not the worst.” He said.

“Vampires?” Emily asked.

“Werewolves?” I countered. Emily laughed and shrugged. She went to the kitchen and started bringing out food. I picked at an enormous blueberry muffin and waited.

The house was warm and it felt good on my perpetually cold skin. It smelled like cinnamon and fire wood and the boys’ laughter bounced off the walls. It had a very soothing effect on my frayed nerves, but it couldn’t keep my mind off Jake.

Emily chatted with Embry and Jared. They caught her up on everything that had happened, but eventually moved on to discussing plans for the weekend. Emily was in and out of the kitchen most of the day. She fed the boys lunch and offered some to me, but I turned it down. I hadn’t even finished the muffin.

After what seemed like forever, the boys stood up.

“Here they come,” Jared said.

“Finally!” Embry said as he opened the door to Sam, Paul, and Jake in human form.

They walked in, Jake trailing behind the others. His face was pulled into a worried frown, but other than that he seemed unharmed, healthier than before even.

“Jake, are you okay?” I asked. He looked up to meet my gaze and gave me a half hearted smile. Sam led him to the couch and he dropped down as soon as he reached it. I sat down next to him and tried to discern any injuries.

“I’m just tired,” he said finally.

“It gets easier,” Embry promised, “the first one just takes you by surprise that’s all.”

Sam didn’t say anything, but he stood in front of us patiently until the room settled. Emily took a seat at the dining room table with Jared and Paul and Embry fell into a chair beside me.

“I’ve explained everything to Jacob.” Sam said when everyone was quiet. He looked at me with a stern gaze. “But I have some questions for you.”

I nodded.

“What do you know about us?” He said.

“I know you’re werewolves.” I looked up at Jake, willing myself to see him for what he was. “The pack here protects the land from vampires. You have a treaty with the Cullens that allows them to live here as long as they don’t hurt anyone.” I tried to think of anything else, but I couldn’t.

“So the Cullens told you about us.” Sam pressed. Jake couldn’t meet my gaze.

“I was there when they found out about you.”

“How did that happen?”

“One of them caught your scent near the border.” I kept my answers as short and honest as possible. I wanted this interrogation to be over, but I didn’t want them to think I was hiding anything. Sam nodded, but his expression was impossible to decipher.

“You’re free to go whenever you’d like.” Sam said after a moment. “But I want to talk to Carlisle. Would you be willing to arrange a meeting?”

“Of course. He’d be happy to meet with you.” I said. Carlisle had wanted to set a meeting when we first learned about them, so I knew he would agree. I decided I’d head straight to the Cullens when I was done here.

“You understand you can’t tell anyone else about this, right?” Sam said.

“I can keep a secret.” I promised. He nodded again.

When Sam relaxed so did everyone else. He went over to Emily and wrapped her in a hug.

“That was pretty quick for a first phase back.” Jared said.

“Yeah, Sam has been practicing his speech.” Paul said.

“Well after what happened with Embry, I had to come up with a new approach.” Sam said.

Jake cocked an eyebrow at his best friend. 

“We couldn’t even convince him it was real. We tried to explain, but he just took off into the woods in the middle of the night. Ran for miles.” Jared explained.

“I turned into a wolf. In the middle of the night. Can you blame me?” Embry said.

“No, but it took me hours to track you down and convince you. And I had work in the morning,” Sam complained. The boys all laughed and Emily stood up to bring more food out from the kitchen.

I turned to Jake.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

He nodded and we headed back out onto the front porch.

“Are you alright?” I asked as he shut the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He paused. “It’s just a lot.”

“You’re a werewolf.” I still could barely believe it.

“You’re dating a vampire.” He said it with just as much spite as Jared had.

“Yeah.” And I was turning into one too. The combination of venom and nerves made my whole body tingle. I could hardly stand him looking at me with such disdain.

“You should probably go.”

“Yeah,” I said. I wanted to start crying again.

“Bella.” He said, stopping me as I turned. “I just need some time.”

“Will you call me later?”

“Sure.” I wasn’t sure he meant it. After everything he’d learned today I couldn’t blame him. I tried to give him a hug, but he pulled away quickly.

He opened the door to head back inside. I wanted to wave or say goodbye to the others, but Jake just gave me one final look and closed the door.


End file.
